This person needs help! Please send money!

I just thought I'd let you be as amused as me at this.

Jerusha Renstrom is a 60-something year old lady that runs the Lindon theatre. Sometimes I get emails from her about stuff that's going to play there, or if there's any auditions. I don't go to any of them, but I like to see if anything interesting is going to play. Anyway, recently her email was hacked into, and some random person sent this email out to most of the people on her mailing list:

Hello!

I'm sorry I didn't inform you about my traveling... am presently in London, on short vacation and as i write to you now.. its unbelievable am stuck here,got mugged at gun point on my way to the hotel and my money,credit cards,phone and other valuable things were taken off me at gun point, thanking Almighty God for save keeping my passport., i really need your urgent assistance quickly ? I JUST NEED SOME MONEY TO SORT OUT MY HOTEL BILLS AND i promise to refund it back to you once i get home cause i still have some cash in my account but i cant access any here right now ,already canceled all my cards immediately after the muggers took my things off me!!! still at the public internet library where am making use of the free internet access, i will forever be grateful if you can help me,Waiting to hear from you quickly cos my flight leaves in few hrs but need to sort the hotel bills and please me from been embarrassed.

Thanks,

Jerusha

I'm sure I don't even need to point out to you how many reasons there are for this being so ridiculous. It's just... bad. If run-on sentences were money, this person would have enough to tour Europe. I feel like I should be out of breath after reading it, because it just keeps going.

Note to self: When posing as an old lady, don't use 'cause', 'cos', or 'hrs'.

Please me from been embarrassed.

Thanks,

Me.