You'll probably want to skip this one... just saying.

What good is a blog if you can't use it occasionally to lash out at the world?

Don't worry. I don't hate life. Just some of the people in it. Be warned, though, if you don't want to read about some of my pet peeves, you should probably skip this post. You won't be missing much.

I have many a random, tiny pet peeve. They're mostly stupid and illogical. Like people leaving the bathroom light on. For some reason that drives me up the wall. But that isn't what I'm annoyed with today.

If there are two things I hate, it's quitters and word-breakers. And I just discovered that I live in a ward full of them.

Alright, alright, that's a very harsh thing to say. How about a ward half-full of them.

I'll get over it soon. It's really not that big of a deal. Like at all. There is no life and death involved in the story I'm about to relate. But this sort of thing happens to me so often that it's hard for me to not start to hate society over it.

The Story

This past spring/summer we've had an intramural team. In spring we played kickball. In summer we played softball.

Spring was great. We had loads of people, and only had to play one game without a full team. Sadly it was the last game, and we came in 2nd instead of first in the championship. But it was still good and we had fun. And it was all fine and dandy.

Summer started good. We had so many people sign up that we couldn't put them all on the roster. They had to call around and find out who was actually serious about coming in order to decide who to keep. And our first game was the same. We had to rotate so many players that we almost had enough for a second team.

The second game was awesome. We kicked serious butt. But not too long after that, a bunch of people were out of town, so we played with a skeleton staff and lost horrifically. During said skeleton staffed games, there were several people who had promised to be there, since most of our regulars were gone.

Yeah, they never showed up. That happened twice. We were only just barely, barely able to not forfeit. We haven't played with a full team since.

And here we are, halfway through the tournament rounds. We've been losing, because of our shortage of people, but we've been playing really well despite that. Our team is actually really good. We had a brilliant chance of winning this thing.

Yes, I say had. Because we had another game tonight. And all of 4 people promised to come. Only 3 of them for sure. One was all wishy washy about it. (One of the same who didn't show at a previous game and almost ruined it for us, so I don't really trust them anyway.) So basically, we're just gonna quit halfway through the tournament.

I know it's because some people had to go out of town, and it's not their fault. But there are enough people here that we could've played. They were just too busy. Translation: didn't feel like it.

Why I'm Angry

Like I said, not the end of the world. Just summer intramurals. So why am I ticked at 20 or so of my neighbors?

A) Because I hate quitting stuff. It's even hard for me to exit out of a computer game when I have to go somewhere. I've only quit something big like a team once in my life. It was 10th grade soccer. I didn't even have a good reason. And I am STILL mad at myself for doing it. Ten years later.

A team of people is a whole lot different than a computer game. Yes, it is still just a game, but it's a social thing. A team. People working together to accomplish something. People relying on other people, and interacting together. Quitting on a team is akin to betrayal. And forcing an entire team to quit halfway through something that they've started because of not caring enough to keep your promises is one of the top things on my I-Will-Hate-You-Forever-If-You-Do-This list.

B) It's a BYU intramural team. Since I'm not a student anymore, I had to pay actual money to be on it. Most of the people are students, so they got to do it for free. And therefore, they don't care about other people's inconveniences. Since they personally don't lose anything by not showing up, they don't even pause to think about the people who do. I payed to play softball, and now I don't even get to.

C) Keeping your word. Apparently in the world we live in, people's promises don't mean anything anymore. It used to be that signing up for a team or a project meant "Yes, I will come." I guess now it just means "Hey, this could be fun. I may or may not actually do it, but it's the thought that counts right?"

Not right. Your thought does not count at all. If you say you will be somewhere, just do it.

D) It has NOT been convenient for me to be on this team. I work afternoons and nights, and I've had to take shifts off of work for nearly every game we've played. Essentially meaning that I've payed in over 100$ to be on this team. That's a freaking lot for a broke person.

So all the people who are whiny about "oh, I have too much to do" or "oh, I just got off work and I'm tired" etc... I say unto you, shut your face. I made a very concerted effort to be there because I signed up to do it and I keep my word. It was not easy or convenient, but I did it. Where's your excuse now?

E) I HATE word-breakers. If you haven't gotten that message yet already, I'll say it again. I seriously HATE it when people promise to do things and then flake out. Hate.

**note: Sometimes there are valid excuses. Like "my parents surprised me and flew in" or "I couldn't get my work shift off" or "my sister just had her baby today". So don't think I'm too much of a jerk. But if you can't come, at least tell us. Don't just not show.

F) I used to play baseball all the time as a child. I don't get to anymore. In fact, ever since 90% of my peers got married and started having kids, I don't get to do much of anything anymore, except babysit. I signed up for the team because I NEED to do something besides sit at my computer all day. I really, really want to play.

But apparently no one cares. It's not a real thing to them. Just some random activity. I seriously don't have any friends who care about the same things I do, except like 2 who live hundreds of miles away.

G) Also, I'm not good at being social. This was one way for me to try really hard to put myself out there and get involved in the community. And lo and behold, no one else even cares about it. Thank you for crushing me back into the hermit-ness from which I sprang.

Alright, there are more things I could go into. But I won't. For your sake. If you're still reading this, I applaud your determination. As a reward, you may now eat some ice cream and pretend it's from me.

Actually, I may go and do the same.

Hello again to all my friends,

I haven't blogged in basically forever. There are two reasons for this. A: I haven't had any blog post ideas. B: Absolutely nothing has changed in my life in the weeks since my last post. And that includes still being homeless for fall/winter. I thought I had a place. I was so glad to be done with my housing search. And then the complex owners sold it out from under me. It was a lovely mess.

That said, I thought I'd make a post, despite the fact that I don't know what to put on it.

I did wake up with a very interesting image in my head this morning.

Bursts of flame followed each step he took. One wrong step, one slight hesitation, and he’d be toast. Very literally. He’d have laughed at his little joke, but the belly of a volcano was no place for such things.

Bare feet flying, he leapt nimbly from stone to stone, leaving each one just as it sank away into the magma. There would be no turning back.

I thought that was rather intriguing. I mean, it's the opening scene, and we see this guy sprinting full out through a volcano. Barefoot.

Why is he in a volcano? And why the heck is he barefoot? Seriously?

I don't know the answer. But I very much intend to find out.

Bordering on Obsession

Alright, guys. I admit it. I am REALLY on a Hunger Games kick right now. Having just finished the first book again, this is somewhat understandable.

You know a book is good when it's actually better the second time.

I mean, it was good enough the first go around. But this time I'm already attached to the characters, and I know what is going to happen. And I was somehow hoping that it wouldn't happen again.

It did. I was dying the entire time. No pun intended.

But I was. I cried at the Rue thing. (I won't say what the Rue thing is, because some haven't finished them yet. But if you have, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.) That, for me, is seriously the emotional low/high of the whole thing. And when I say that I mean it's a low because it's awful, but it's a high in terms of the amount of emotion.

And holy cow, the girl who is cast to play her in the movie is SO FREAKING CUTE.

I am sorry for my overzealous use of all caps. But sometimes I just need to do it.

Back to business. She is adorable. Even if the movie turns out to be crap, I will cry there for sure.

In other news, Josh Hutcherson as Peeta: YES!

He may not be blonde, but face shape-wise and general build-wise he's exactly how I see Peeta in my head. Also, he's a spectacular actor. And I'd rather have a great actor than a good look alike any day.

Basically, this movie has the potential to go the way that all of these movies do -hollywood blockbuster that destroys the story and the only thing good are the effects - but I don't think it will. So far, according to everything that I've read about the director and about Jennifer Lawrence, I really think that they are trying to make a legitimately good movie interpretation of this.

Let us all hope that my faith has been well placed.

Time for the confession: I was already excited about this movie. I think I posted about it before, actually. But having just re-read the first book and re-looked up movie info, right now my excitedness is even over-shining the last Harry Potter movie.

Shocking, I know!

But it is. I'm beyond psyched for the midnight showing of the final HP in 3 weeks, but honestly, right now I wish it was the Hunger Games. It'll cool down again, I'm sure. But for real, I'm hyper excited.

GAAAAAH!

Okay. That is all.

A random picture. These aren't the actors, just somebody's art. But I like it. The way he's touching her arm as they sit there is very Peeta. :)

The New Personality Test

What kind of gamer are you?

We'll use pinball as an easy example. Partly because I spent about 2 1/2 hours playing it today. In windows pinball you get three balls. You get points by hitting stuff (obviously) and by keeping the ball going as long as possible, but you have to complete missions with the balls to get the real points. I've discovered that average for me is about a million points per ball. My current high score is 5,048,750

This is a screen shot of a game I was just in. As you can see, I played my first ball and died almost instantly. I didn't even start a mission let alone finish one. It's here waiting for me to launch my second ball.

So, what kind of gamer are you? When you're going for a high score and your first ball is this miserable, do you restart and restart until you get a good first turn? (This is what I usually do. I've been known to restart MarioKart like 12 times when I'm trying to set a track record, just because I didn't get the speed boost start.)

Or, do you persevere? Maybe the second ball will be so awesome that the first one doesn't even matter.

How do you look at it? And does this have any life implications? I really think it does. Not that one way is better than the other in terms of how you play pinball. I'm pretty sure it won't be on any kind of "Entrance to Heaven" Checklist. But it might tell you something about yourself.

I play Alpha Centauri sometimes. It's very similar to civilization (it was made by the same people) except that it takes place on an alien planet.

There are 7 factions you can choose to play. (From left to Right. I promise, this all has a point.)

The Morganites - Under CEO Morgan. They're all about the money. Their main strength is a strong economy. If they're going to win, it's probably going to be because they cornered the global market and have a monopoly on everything.

The Hive - Under Chairman Yang. They're socialists. Their main strength is political/social. They usually have about a billion cities, and brainwash all their citizens.

The University - Under Provost Zakharov. They're scientists. They'll out-technology you. While you're still using conventional missiles, they'll be making a planet buster strong enough to literally blow a giant hole in your continent. (Which is actually kind of fun to do).

The Gaians - Under Lady Dierdre. They're tree-huggers. This is an alien planet, after all. Might as well be friendly with it. Their main strength is using the natural forces of the planet (like mind worms), and not getting attacked by them as much as everyone else.

The Spartans - Under Colonel Santiago. It's all military. If they win, it's probably because their gigantic army crushed you under the soles of its boots.

The Believers - Under Sister Miriam. They're religious fanatics. And I really mean fanatics. Totally crazy. (Almost as much as the Hive) But it makes them very socially strong. In other factions, you can send spies in to bribe people, and then you can take over their city without fighting. But the believers are so strict in their morals that bribes don't work. They're totally immune.

The Peacekeepers - Under Brother Lal. They're supposedly the "Peacekeepers". Basically what's left of the U. N. They aren't really so peaceful but they can talk their way in and out of everything. They're really strong with government and order and everything.

(Are you really getting a rather stereotyping/racist vibe from all of these?)

After reading this, I'm fairly confident that there is at least one of those that seemed to be the most reasonable one to you. The rest seem okay, but it just looks like one or two have all the advantages. Which was it for you?

The interesting thing is that all of them have a main advantage and a main disadvantage, which makes them all equally capable of winning the game.

But I've noticed that in games like this, people who play them tend to play the same characters over an over again. Sometimes they branch out and experiment with the others just for fun, but they always come back, because of what I said.

I very legitimately think that this kind of thing is a great way to assess personality. If said person were to actually come in charge of a civilization, you'd know what kind of leader they'd be, and where their focus would lie. Yeah, I know, it's just a game. But even our games can betray personality.

What is mine?

I always play this guy, for two reasons: One, because I really like the picture. Those glasses things are way cool to me for some reason that I can't really explain. But two, and most importantly, because these are the science guys.

Sure it's great to be big and muscley, but it won't help you if I blow your entire city up first. And sure, it might be a great thing to have a strong and wealthy economy, but that doesn't help you defend yourself when I invade with a legion of neutron-armored hovertanks.

And anyway, Academecian Prokhor Zakharov sounds pretty cool.

In real life, I'd totally be like this too. "Your soldiers' martial arts are really awesome. I'm impressed. *pushes button*. Too bad they're all dead now."

Alright, before you think I'm a psycho, we're talking about extreme situations. Our country is being invaded, and the only way to save the lives of our citizens is to destroy the other army. And for some reason I'm in charge. How would I go about it? Pretty much just like that.

So yeah, there are things I'd do in games that I certainly would never do in real life. For example, if you give me enough money in a game (but I don't come cheap) I'll declare war on whoever you want me to. It'll cost you, and you've got to have a really good case. And I'd only do it if it didn't hurt me. But I am completely bribable in games. I sell technology for money. I'll attack someone if you pay me.

Not completely so in real life. I hate betrayal more than almost anything else. So no, I would never, ever turn in a friend just for some money. But if I had absolutely no other motives to consider, well...

Even so, I think there's still a lot that we can tell about me. We can see that I like to carefully weigh options. I like to make profitable trades. I keep the best things for myself. I don't like to just barely win; I like to crush the enemy into the dust. I bide my time, and then spring the trap. I like to manipulate. To get people to do what I want, without them knowing that I got them to do it. I'm not proud of it, but it's true.

There's more, but this post is already WAY too long.

Next time you play a game like that, take a look at the things that you consistently do. It may reveal quite a lot about your personal character.

Next Day UPDATE:

For anyone who cares, I just now exploded my all time pinball record. I've been playing this game since it came out on windows years ago, and I've never done this well. My first ball was only a couple points away from 4 million all by itself. The funny thing is, though, that my second ball died almost instantly. But I still got a great score. Ironic, anyone?

I'm a Brainist.

I always considered myself a pretty non-judgmental person.

I seriously don’t care what brand your clothes are or where you bought them.

I honestly don’t care if your family is famous or has a load of money.

And I really don’t care if you’re super good at sports and stuff.

But I realized, partly last night, and mostly today, that I’m a big fat liar. I still don’t care about those things, but there are other things that I’m really judgmental about. Namely intelligence. When someone doesn’t understand something that seems extremely simple, I automatically write them off as lower quality.

And really, who am I to do that? So maybe I’m pretty good at understanding science, or memorizing things. There’s a lot of stuff I’m terrible at too. Like finance. Taxes and all those CPA terms make me feel like a complete moron.

Being severely impatient when people don’t understand things isn’t very non-judgmental.

So, to everyone, if I’ve ever been rude or mean, or just made you feel like an idiot because I treated you like one, or even if you never knew that I thought you were a dunce cap, I’m sorry.

Game Day #4

I'm not a crier. Not when people can see me anyway. I'm very much an emotion hider, which is sometimes good and sometimes comes back to bite me.

There are several movies that make me tear up, either because they're sad or cute. Like the end of LOTR when Frodo goes away on the boats. Or Toy Story 3 when I felt like my childhood was ending forever. But there are only a very select few that make me actually cry.

For today's picture game: Choose a movie that makes me actually cry every single time, no matter how often I watch it. We're talking salt plastered face and the clutching of stuffed animals.

Answer:

So. Freaking. Sad. It doesn't help that through the entire movie I constantly wish I had friends who would invent magical lands in the woods with me. Double whammy.

Bonus Picture:

Also, this. I wish her face wasn't cut off in it, but it was the only one I could find with both of them. This is the scene where I start to writhe in agony. Because it's so freakin cute. He suddenly realizes exactly how much she really means to him, and stares at her as she jogs away down the road. For the last time.

*Cries more*

However, I would like to point out that this scene is also one of those that makes me REALLY over-the-top excited for the Hunger Games movie. Josh is a great actor, and except for his non-blondeness he's pretty much exactly how I pictured Peeta anyway.

If he looks at Katniss the way he looks at Leslie here, I'm gonna be melted. "Like a popsicle on the fourth of July."

When your roommate has the consumption...

One time, forever ago, I watched an episode of Touched By An Angel in which a little girl, who doesn't realize how good she has it, runs away from home and joins a group of homeless teens in the city streets.

There are a lot of things that happened, mostly involving the angels stopping said teens from doing things they'd really regret later. But one of the things was saving this boy's life by convincing him to go to the doctor. He had been coughing incessantly, and it was obviously tuberculosis.

Ever since then, one of the few diseases I've been legitimately afraid of getting is TB. It doesn't help that it's airborne, contagious, and potentially fatal if left untreated. If I'm gonna die of a disease, I really don't want it to be one where I spend my last hours literally hacking my lungs to pieces.

I've been spending the last day or so sucking down as much vitamin C as I can. Why? Because my roommate has something. I dunno what it is, but I'm kind of a hypochondriac when it comes to ceaseless coughing. As I've explained.

I'm not a germophobe about almost anything else. Like at all. So thank you, Touched By An Angel. Thank you for filling my life with fear and paranoia.

To be fair, I actually liked most of the episodes. It was a good show. But that one definitely scarred me.

Also, Della Reese is awesome. One of those cool random actresses that I just enjoy.