Platypus Gardens

There's a lot of stuff that people think I'm kidding about. And I understand why. Most people who say these things are kidding, even if they don't know it. For example:

"I don't care about what people think."

If that was honestly and really true, they wouldn't care about whether they are wearing fall colors in December. Or whether I wore my Dr. Seuss hat whilst walking down the sidewalk. Or be too embarrassed to wear Harry Potter robes to the midnight premiere.

The honest truth is that 90% of people who say those words are total hypocrites. Because theydo care. Not to the same extent as vacant, shallow supermodels, perhaps. But they care enough to be embarrassed at talking in weird accents during work. They care enough to be up to date with the latest music, fashion, and hollywood gossip. They care enough to eyeball me with *that* look when I pull out my lightsaber.

Another example:

"I don't need the ring or the one-knee approach. It only matters whether he loves me."

Lots of girls say this. Lots of girls are lying.

Whether they realize it or not, most girls do care. They might not care whether it's a cracker-jack ring or a 10,000 dollar rock, but they still want a ring. They don't need a grandiose proposal escapade, but they still want a proposal.

The fact is that a large majority of the human population has deluded itself into thinking that they are extraordinary, out of the norm, so unique that it's never been seen before... blah-de-blah-de-blah. When in reality, every single one of them is so mainstream that it blows the mind.

This isn't necessarily bad. After all, mainstream wouldn't be mainstream if most people didn't follow it. I do find it random that such a high percentage of humans can like the same things, so much so that a mainstream exists at all. But such is life.

And everyone IS unique in different ways. Everyone is special. But the fact concretely remains that most of them still fall into general trends.

And that is why people don't believe a lot of what I say. And as I mentioned, I totally understand.

Before I continue with my point, I would like to add that:

1) Yes, I, too, have things in which I care about the opinions of others. I wish I didn't. It would be incredible to be totally free of that. But even I am not. I don't wear my Dr. Seuss hats down the sidewalk, because I just can't handle the attention. But someday I will overcome the odds.

However, I legitimately don't care what you think about my lightsabers, plastic swords, or wands. I will be in costume at the HP premiere, come wind or rain, or black of night. I think being a nerd is way more fun than being popular, and that's the honest truth.

2) Yes, I do want a ring. And I absolutely require an official proposal. It doesn't have to be a production. But it must be official. Somewhere in the conversation the words (or their close synonyms) "will you" and "marry me" must be present.

However, I am not picky on the rest of the proposal, other than if the proposal happens on the big screen at a football game, he's earned himself a guaranteed "not on your life". It doesn't even have to be on one knee. It doesn't have to involve months of planning. It just has to be. Also, I really don't like most engagement rings. They are just so... boring. People frequently show me their ring and ask how I like it. I never know what to say. They are all the same level of boring to me. I honestly, and non-delusionally don't want diamonds. Or a fancy schmancy style.

I suppose that actually makes me more demanding than other girls. But it's cheaper, and at least I'm fully aware of my real opinions.

Yes:

Absolutely not:

Yes:

No way, Jose:

Heck yes!:

In the name of all that is holy, please no:

Immediate proposal acceptance:

Well, all that was fun. But it wasn't the point of this post. The point was that, because of all this pretense, people don't believe me either, when it comes to things I say.

As I freely admitted, I am not an exception to some of the mainstream desires. But I know where I stand, and don't pretend otherwise. Now, on with the show.

There was a specific thing about which I started this post. And now I can't remember it. So instead, I compile a list of things that are real. I don't say them to pretend like I'm all good, or all unique. I say them because they actually are true about me, whether or not you think I'm lying.

• I still play with legos.
• Lightsabers too. No joke.
• I really will be in costume at the HP premiere.
• I wear a pirate hat sometimes as my thinking cap.
• I have a machete at the foot of my bed.
• I'm not blackmailable. Bad pictures of me are unfortunate, but such is life. Goofy pictures of me are funny. I'll post them myself. No need to do it for me.
• I sleep with efalump.
• Sometimes there are goblins with long arms and pointy fingers that lurk under my bed.
• I see the world in the same way that Mr. Barrie does in Finding Neverland. The other day there was a dragon perched on my roof, ready with his saddle to take me to Wendy's.
• I am a bad dancer. And it is one of the things that I get embarrassed about far too easily.
• I need a jedi robe. My closet is barren without one.
• I had a pedicure. And it wasn't a big deal. I probably won't get one again unless someone else buys it.
• I don't know how to properly apply mascara.
• I own a keychain size nerf gun. With darts.
• I have sock puppets. And they are awesome.
• Salads make me feel hungrier. Bring on the meat.
• Razor scooters are fun.
• Book characters are real.
• As a child, my biggest supernatural fear was vampires. Why? Opposable thumbs.
• I have sailboat sheets.
• I really wish I could remember the original thing I planned to talk about.
• One of my secret ambitions is to be as smart as Sherlock Holmes.
• I like sculpture.
• I plan to watch Sound of Music on VHS in the near future.
• I don't see the point of not liking certain music anymore for the sole reason that it's no longer popular.
• This is sounding a lot like my "things people think I should be embarrassed about" post.
• I have 2 blogs.
• I like white chocolate.
• I have a real longbow and arrows.
• I strongly desire for my future husband to be able to sing beautifully. And thus to serenade me.
• I still don't remember what the original thing was, so I'm gonna stop now. Good bye.