Afterward I watched some videos of Michael Jackson dancing, all the while wondering if he even had bones.
And I was just thinking about stuff. You know, dancing. And wishing I could do it. And I decided to make a goal for myself. It probably doesn't seem like much of a goal. Feel free to judge me.
My goal: To at least once in my life be able to dance in front of people.
We're not talking well. And we're not talking a lot of people. 5 or 6 would do. The point is just to be able to.
I can't really explain it. But I've tried a lot of times. I go to ward/stake dances specifically intending to actually dance at them. Every time I move to a new place, I try to make a new start. These people don't know me. I have a chance to be my real, absolutely crackpot self with them.
But I can't.
Not I'm scared to. I actually can't. My feet and my arms won't let me. And I don't get why. It's not like anyone else who dances at these things actually looks good. But I can't do it.
And then I look even dumber, because I'm that weird, obnoxious one that actually cares.
I hate it. But it's not something I've figured out how to fix.
So yeah. That's my goal.
In the mean time, enjoy the first ever moonwalk. (It's toward the end.)
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