Tuesday, August 24, 2010


My brain fails. I had an idea for a blog I wanted to do, but I forgot it. Soooo... Imma do something else instead.

Me and my friend are playing this game where we get a random story prompt from this website and then just write a short story to it real quick. Then we compare what we ended up with. This is the first one, and it's from last night. At like 1 am. The idea of the game is to just spit out whatever comes. No editing, except for like fixing a small typo or whatever. And no extensive thinking and brainstorming. Just start writing, and that's it.

I thought it was fun and kind of cool. But by no means is this like Newberry award winning or anything. Don't judge me.

This is the story idea from the generator:
8-24-2010 The theme of this story: noir horror. The main characters: pious smuggler and courageous martial artist. The start of the story: delusion. The end of the story: conspiracy.

And this is the story:

The mist wafted through the yard, causing the temperature to drop. It was a full moon. He hated that. His job was bad enough without fearing the supernatural. Not for the first time, he questioned his occupation. Tomorrow he would sit in the box wondering what to confess to the priest, just as he did every time he had a job. But he knew that, in the end, he wouldn’t mention this. He never did.

The shovel hit something, and he realized that he had been digging for much longer than he had thought. He cleared the dirt away from the pine boards, and fastened the ropes. The next bit was always the hardest. If he had an assistant everything would be so much faster, and he could get out of there. But he didn’t dare tell anyone how he made his money.

Not that it was wrong. He was working for the good of many people. At least, that’s what he kept telling himself. He felt that his conscience was clear, but there was always a nagging sense of guilt. Just the tiniest uncertainty, hanging in the back of his mind like a cobweb.

No, he thought. He needed the money. And they needed the parts. The students couldn’t learn as well without them. And this one would be especially useful. It was very fresh. The dirt hadn’t even settled yet.

Sweating and covered in grime, he climbed from the hole and heaved on the ropes. Heavy. Heavier than usual. This one must have been big. All the better. He could charge more.
An owl hooted and startled him. He nearly let go of the ropes, but caught them just in time. Just an owl. Nothing scary. Nothing unusual. He kept at it until the box was clear of the hole. Then he tied the ropes off, and reached out to pull the thing over to the solid ground. It really was much heavier than usual.

He turned away quickly. He didn’t like to look at those things too long. It started to give him ideas. She shook off a shudder, and started for the cart. A sudden loud crack rang through the empty grounds. He froze, pulse racing so fast that it pounded in his ears.

It was a full minute before he dared to move. After such a long silence, he wasn’t quite sure he had actually heard anything. His mind was probably playing tricks with him. It often did at the full moon. Summoning his courage, he took another step for the cart. The horse whinnied nervously, and stamped a foot.

He backed the cart toward the hole. He didn’t want to handle the thing any more than he had to. He suppressed another shudder and patted the horse on the neck to calm him. He took a deep breath before walking around to the back of the cart.

His stomach lurched, and felt as though he had just swallowed a bucketful of lead. The box was right where he had left it, but there was a wide crack running the entire length of the lid. His knees started to shake. It was only his imagination. Only imagination. The full moon was making him see things that weren’t there.

Slowly he stepped toward it, intending the raise it to the back of the cart with the ropes. He took tiny steps, all the while avoiding the sight of the cracked lid. As much as he was terrified of it, he couldn’t keep his eyes from sliding back.
He bent down to untie the ropes, preparing himself to lift the weight once again. He gave a mighty heave, and the box flew into the air. The lightness shocked him and he let go, causing the pine planking to slam into the ground. The lid was on the ground nearby. The box was completely empty.

He backed into the tree, hyperventilating and muttering at the same time. More mist swirled around him, chilling him to the bone. He closed his eyes and opened them again, hoping to wake up. But the box was still empty.

He couldn’t get any air. His lungs wouldn’t let him breathe. A shadow flew past in the mist. He screamed and dropped to his knees. He grabbed his crucifix and held it tight. Leave me alone. Leave me alone.

A form appeared in front of him, looking like an acrobat. It flipped and leaped past the headstones, coming right for him. He couldn’t look. He bent double, crying harder than he ever had. Never again. He would never come here again. He would spend days in the chapel. He would tell the priest everything.

“Don’t hurt me!” He whimpered in a high pitched voice, while covering his head with his hands.
Cold metal closed around his wrists. He knew he was done for. This was the end. He would never get a chance to live past thirty.

“I won’t.” Said a voice, made ethereal by the cold, wet night. “If you confess.”

“Anything.” He squeaked.

Lights flooded the area as torches flared to life. Lanterns were uncovered, and pistols were cocked. Glancing up, he saw a ring of policemen advancing on him. He found his wrists to be handcuffed. Somewhere in his mind, he knew that he was under arrest. He knew that this had been an elaborate trap, set just for him. But he was too terrified to care.

The dark, shadowy figure slipped away into the night, unnoticed by anyone but him.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

As I approach a quarter century...

I turn 25 in 3 weeks. In honor of the occasion, I decided to impart some pearls of wisdom gathered through my vast experience in life.

  • Alex Goot is fabulous. Both in his covers and original songs. This is incontestable.

  • People who get married within 6 months of their missions never become normal again.
  • gLee is both wise and amazing.
  • So is Kristin Chenoweth. She is a recipe for awesome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUbCbCuRdHQ (sorry the sound is kind of off from the video in this.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQJaZO2nfGg (Idina is incredible too)
  • Never put tomato paste in a crock pot for sauce without mixing it into the water really well. It burns.
  • If you never expect to get payed back when you lend money, it always makes your day when you do.
  • The time until the Harry Potter premiere is exactly 107 days, 23 hours, and 30 minutes from right now.
  • Otter pops make the world go round.
  • You can buy used dvds from Redbox for 7 bucks.
  • Always go grocery shopping before you run out of food.

  • If more people took advantage of the free public library, less people would be in debt over movies, books, and music.
  • The most expensive camera isn't always the better one.
  • Ellen Degeneres is under-appreciated in utah culture.
  • There's a huge difference between having a hard life and having a miserable life.
  • Cafe Rio really does deserve the hype.
  • Christopher Paolini is officially the slowest author in the universe.
  • There are some things you should think about before you do them.
  • I'm becoming acquainted with more and more guys who are the same height or shorter than I am. Are they shrinking?
  • Toshibas are better than Dells.
  • You really shouldn't tickle sleeping dragons.

  • The Spice Girls are a lot better than I gave them credit for in 7th grade.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD8tZjK9jhY (Yeah, I know. This one came out in 10th grade for me, but it's one of my recently favorited songs.)
  • 7th grade was a really long time ago.
  • Either indians, Fred Weasly's ghost, voldemort's horcrux, or cornish pixies,are currently infesting my apartment.
  • Exercise videos were invented by big brother. There are hidden recording devices in them so that the makers can laugh at how utterly ridiculous you look when you use them.
  • Bowling is always more fun with lots of other people.
  • Not every book in the library should be taken as credible.
  • Real intelligence is more than just being intellectual.
  • There is a fine line between maturity and stupidly boring. 99% of people find themselves on the opposite side from where they think they are.
  • Pizza is good frozen. Not uncooked, but frozen after ordered from Pizza Hut.

  • 350 degrees is just an arbitrary temperature that food packagers decided on to make printing easier.
  • If you avoid doing everything that you're scared to do, you'll go through life missing out on stuff that would otherwise end up being your favorite ever.
  • When you're applying for your dream job, the worst they can do is say 'No.'
  • Some stuff is only popular because some random popular person liked it.
  • When you're the misfit who has the obsessive crush on the beautiful but deusch-baggy popular guy, you're acting just as shallow as he is.
  • Some famous people are actually good role models.
  • Adding more blood doesn't make a bad horror movie any better. Too much = fake as Monty Python.

  • It's getting increasingly difficult to come up with new ideas. Millions of people had the same one before.
  • Technology is the coolest thing ever. A couple of tiny wires, a battery, and some binary codes make up your 80 gb music library. Don't take it for granted.
  • When shooting arrows, always aim first.
  • Saying you can't before you've tried is worse than failing. Sometimes you even make it.
  • There is a massive difference between constructive criticism and being a condescending jerk.
  • If you're a light sleeper, wear earplugs. Your roommate can't stop breathing to cater to you.
  • Their = belongs to them, there = that place that I'm pointing to, They're = They are
  • Most acronyms don't save any more time than just typing or saying the whole phrase.
  • "If you shoot for the stars and miss, at least you'll land on the moon."

  • Read laws before you complain about them.
  • Make sure there are lots of pillows on the floor before jumping on the couch.
  • People are more likely to come over if you feed them.
  • Meat markets are where the meat is.
  • 97.34% of the time stress is a choice.
  • Life is too short to not dance when your ipod is on.
  • Some things are just as good in books as in real life.
  • French fries taste better from Wendy's than McDonald's.
  • Silly has scientifically been proven to lengthen life.
  • Three year olds are highly capable of destruction.
  • When you're afraid of looking dumb, the worst thing that could happen is someone not liking what you do. Soooooo.... they don't like it. And?
  • The answer to life, the universe, and everything really is 42.
  • It takes more work to be mean than to be nice.
  • Sleep in a living room fort at least once a year.

  • Youtube comments are not the end of the world.
  • Touching something is a sure way to tell if it will burn you.
  • The purpose of video games is to play them with people.
  • The bigger the spider, the easier it is to spot.
  • The story of Romeo and Juliet ended badly. Very badly. Pick a different analogy.
  • Being star-crossed is neither good, nor romantic.
  • Most people respect you for being unique. The ones that don't aren't worth impressing.
  • Fox gets made fun of a lot, but it has all the best shows.
  • Chocolate is an essential nutrient.
  • Some things get better with time. Milk is not one of those things.
  • Several Bon Jovi songs actually have really cool messages.
  • When you're louder than your kids, the point of your lecture has kind of died.
  • If Lancelot had just stayed in France, most of Camelot's tragedy could have been avoided.
  • Ron Weasley lied. Both Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black were Gryffindors, and no matter which was the true culprit, it still breaks the Slytherin-only evil streak.
  • Having faith doesn't mean blindly following. It means asking the question, even if you don't know what the answer will be, or how it will come.
  • Not all country music is about trucks, honky-tonks, or dead dogs.
  • If you want to know what an acid trip is like, go play I am the Walrus on Beatles rock band.

  • Only say 'no' when it's important.
  • Severus Snape is undoubtedly the most tragic fantasy book character ever written.
  • Susan is the spawn of satan. The only reason I tolerate her in Narnia is because there needed to be 4 of them. The Horse and His Boy is the only one where she doesn't drive me nutty.
  • All you need is love.
  • Comic writers sure do like alliteration. Peter Parker, Lois Lane, Clark Kent, Pepper Potts, Silver Surfer, Green Goblin, Wonder Woman, Teen Titans, Lex Luthor .... Those are just the easy to think of ones.
  • There are seriously a zillion songs either called "Home" or with the word 'home' somewhere in the title.
  • My sister's said it for ages, but Billy Joel really was awesome.
  • French and Saunders is the other answer to life, the universe, and everything.
  • British comedy is seriously undervalued.
  • Anything is an adventure if you make it into one.
  • Large amounts of taffy + 2 am = laughing at absolutely nothing. Amazingly fun.
  • No one cares if you become rich and famous. But they do care that you tried your best.
  • Changing the world doesn't have to mean changing everyone in the world at the same time.
  • You think that killing people might make them like you, but it doesn't. It just makes people dead.

At this point in the evening, or rather the darkest reaches of early morning, it is a long while after I started, and I've completely run out of things to put on this list. But since it's a lot longer than I expected it to be in the first place, I can't hardly complain about that. I choose now to go off to sleep.