Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Social Experiment Hiatus

If there's one thing I've really discovered about Jane Austen, it's that I can only handle so much at a time.

It's time for a break. And I don't know how long it will be.

Here is a picture of a zombie that I made.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Social Experiment part 4: Persuasion

First reaction: Very confused.
Second reaction: There's an awful lot of extended "longing glances" shots.
Third reaction: Once I finally understood the plot, it was pretty alright.

The reason I picked this one is because I've had several people tell me it's their favorite Jane Austen. In an attempt to give her credit for something, I figured it would be safe to choose this one.

Also because I literally didn't know anything at all about it, and getting into a story completely fresh would be a good experiment.

The book is probably much clearer. Some time I'll get around to it. Maybe. And I didn't hate the story. It just took me half the movie, very literally, to figure out what was going on. It wasn't until about the 20th longing glance that I realized that the captain must have been who she was in love with those years ago, which I only knew about because I read the back of the dvd box. It wasn't immediately apparent from the movie on its own.

Props to Jane Austen, though, for continuing to write the most despicable supporting characters. Anne's family is absurd. The most annoying of them all, thus far. Every time they came on the screen, I cringed a little. The movie was well casted, in that regard. They did a great job of making me despise them.

Oh, and clarification, I expect there are several movie versions. I saw the one with Fiona Shaw in it as the admiral's wife. (The lady who plays Petunia Dursley in the HP movies).

This one <=

Anyway, I don't really have a whole lot to say on it. It would have been better if I knew what was happening during the whole movie. But once I figured it out, it was alright. That's about it.

Social Experiment part 3: Emma

Finally, a Jane Austen book where the main guy in it is actually likable through the thing.

I say that in reference to the many other Austen, and Austen time-period, stories where the main guy is good, but that's hidden under a lot of other stuff. You have to sort of overlook things, and work hard to like the fellow.

That's all fine and good. Taking a person on a real journey over a character is a sign of a good writer. But I'm a little tired of having to do it every time. Examples: Colonel Brandon. Yeah, he's good and nice the whole time, and he obviously likes her, but he's just awkward and weird. You have to really get over Willoughby before you can be okay with him.

John Thornton (in Gaskell's North and South). The main reason he's great is because Richard Armitage plays him, which makes him quite lovely to look at. But even though he does a lot that shows his true character, and he really is a very sensible, decent man, he's not very charismatic. He's got a bit of a temper, and he's still a sort of gruff type that's difficult to like.

Mr. Darcy. The only adaptation I've thus far experienced where I really actually felt Darcy's personality was different, and not just the outward knowledge of his good actions, was the Colin Firth version. Perhaps that's what everyone else sees when they read it and stuff. If so, I can almost understand having him as a dashing romantic figure. But in every other one, he may show himself to be a good man, but he's still snappy, weird, and somewhat short tempered. Not at all desirable.

Mr. Knightly, on the other hand, is not the one with all the flaws. Emma is. Which is fine by me, and makes a nice change. Partly because I don't watch a show like that to adore the female leads. Mr. Knightly is always sweet, always honest, always caring, and he does the right thing whenever he can. Even if you don't realize that he likes Emma the whole time, you know that whoever he ends up with is gonna be lucky.

That's the first thing I liked about Emma. Mr. Knightly.

Now, on to other things. I have seen two versions of the story. One was an older, two video version. I don't remember a great deal about it other than that I hated it. I was so bored. You pretty much got to the part where she and Knightly both liked each other and wouldn't tell the other about it like in the very beginning, and the entire other 1 1/2 tapes of it were just them agonizing over it. I can just remember thinking "Daggonnit! You both like each other! Stop dragging it out!"

So yeah, there wasn't a great deal to it that I actually understood. 2 videos of nothing but sitting around wishing to be with the other dude. BO. RING.

The newer one was much improved. Plus I like Gwyneth Paltrow. Emma actually has personality in this one. Even though her personality is extremely flawed, it's better than just sitting around feeling sorry for herself. Besides, it's flawed in the book. It's supposed to be that way.

They're different flaws too. Most of her other female leads aren't rich, well to do, and a little arrogant. That's the province of the annoying antagonists like Caroline Bingley. So it's certainly a different angle. But she isn't quite as bad as Caroline and company. Her friend, Harriet, is a good indicator of that. Caroline wouldn't have been caught dead as her friend.

I grant that things might have moved a little fast in this newer movie. Stuff happened, and there wasn't much time to really ingest it before the things were resolved. But it was succinct enough to help me understand what was going on, and thus make me inclined to possibly read the book. Which doesn't happen much with Jane Austen stuff.

Not to mention that Ewan McGregor sings a duet with her in the movie. I enjoy his voice. And Gwyneth's is good too.

Anyway, I suppose I liked this one better than some of the others, because I actually understood the motivations behind everything. I could relate to some of the character's feelings, and know how they worked, even if I didn't quite agree with them.

And also because Mr. Knightly is easy to like.

All things being said, so far this is my favorite of the social experiment list.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Social Experiment part 2: Pride and Prejudice

This one has been much longer in the making. And it includes rather a vast variety of experience. You may now gasp in shock, but it is true. Over the years I have been forced into/chosen to experience 6 video versions, and 2 reading versions.


Some only just barely count, I admit. But they still do. Here they are.

Old black and white movie
Wishbone episode
"latter-day comedy" version
Lost in Austen
The absurdly long 6 hour one
The Keira Knightly one
Original book, read in 11th grade for summer reading
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (I just had to. If you know me, you understand.)

Of all that, I never understood what the plot of the story even was until I saw the Keira Knightly one. it put it all succinctly and clearly, and I finally was able to piece it all together.

I've decided to do this in two different parts. A best and worst section, and a describing what I feel about it section. We'll do the second one first.

I watched the 6 hour mini-series version as the main event in the experiment. I thought about re-reading the book, but I didn't feel that it was entirely necessary. I didn't really want to right off, so I knew it wouldn't go far.

Good things (in general):
  • Jane Austen really does have some quippy lines that I appreciate. I never paid attention before.
  • Mr. Bingley is such a nice guy
  • I like the mesh of the five sister's different personalities. It's sort of like each one has a dominant characteristic that people can relate to. Everyone can find a little bit of each one of the sisters in themselves. It's just about which parts are shown, and which are almost not there. I feel like I have a really odd combination of Mary's intellectualness and awkwardness, Jane's mellowness, and Elizabeth's speaking without thinkingness. The Lydia and Kitty bits are there in minuscule portions, but I try not to think about that.
  • I do like it when they have to change, adapt, and kind of personal journey as they fall in love. Instant attraction, love, and then the whole story's about them loving each other is just not interesting.
Good things (6 hour miniseries):
  • Colin Firth really is very good
  • Everything is in it
  • Now that it's on dvd, it doesn't take up miles of space
  • The length gives time to really develop the characters
  • Mrs. Bennett was exceedingly annoying. I liked how they really emphasized her impropriety. Lydia as well. Ob. Noxious.
Not so great things (general):
  • Even the most dramatic parts are still entangled with love story. Love stories are fine, but when they're the entire plot, my interest wanes.
  • Mr. Darcy is always such a big deal, and I just don't see it. I know he's a very good man, and all, but I certainly don't want to marry him, even if he did do a very nice thing for Lydia.
  • Many of Jane Austen's stories seem to be very, very similar. Take Sense and Sensibility. Even the title is similar, with its alliterative nouns. There are sisters who meet men. The eldest is sensible, but falls in love with someone she finds out that she can't have (till the end, of course). The younger one is headstrong and reactive, gets jilted by a dashing young fortune seeker, and ends up falling for the less obvious, but infinity more gallant choice, who has loved her all along, but she shunned him. There's even a bad fever involved.
  • I have trouble with that sort of period stuff. Nothing is even remotely interesting to me about that society. Not Jane's fault, but still a flaw for me personally.
  • I do still have a somewhat irrational aversion to something over which SO VERY MANY people obsess. Especially when I didn't find it quite something I would obsess over myself.
Not so great (miniseries):
  • No one beats Judi Dench. There is no competition ever. I know she's the most recent lady Catherine, but the others just look pitiful and sad compared to her. She's got this sort of regal aura. Can't touch it.
PS. I don't know what movie this is from. But you can see exactly what I mean by that intimidating presence she has.
  • Too long. You can't just pop it in when you feel like it. It's a serious time commitment.
  • Some of the extended scenes are nice. They make it feel real. But there are a few that just went on too long. I could do with a lot fewer dancing scenes. And what's with Mr. Darcy taking a bath? Why is that even in there?
  • Elizabeth wasn't very sassy. She seems like any other character when she's not all bold and stuff.
  • Yeah, Mr. Collins was weird, but he wasn't weird enough for me. Not after so many other truly heinous interpretations.
Well, I think that about covers my general Pride and Prejudice experience. On to the awards. These are my own personal opinions.

For best acted Darcy - Miniseries, Colin Firth

Most attractive Darcy - Latter day comedy, Orlando Seale

Favorite Bingley - Miniseries, Crispin Bonham-Carter

Most Obnoxious and annoying:

Caroline Bingley - Miniseries

Lydia - Miniseries

Wickham - Miniseries (seems this one gets credit for the awful characters)

Mary - Miniseries

Lady Catherine - 2005, Judi Dench (there's just no topping her)

Darcy - Lost in Austen

Most truly heinous and revolting Collins - Lost in Austen. Dude. Is. VILE.

Most likable Wickham - Lost in Austen, though admittedly it's partly from the storyline. He's still charming, though.

Prettiest Jane - 2005

Most sassy Elizabeth - 2005, Keira Knightly

Stupidest Kitty - Latter Day Comedy



I was gonna do some kind of Charlotte award, but none of them really stand out. Although I got the best-friend chemistry between Charlotte and Elizabeth the most from the 2005 one.

Notice that the old black and white one didn't win a thing. That's because I watched it with the Hansens 9 years ago, because they thought it would help me understand what was going on in the book. It didn't. I was still confused.

The wishbone episodes usually helped simplify things too. Like the Cyrano one helped me get Roxanne when I saw it. But the Pride and Prejudice show was the one that I sat through all the while wondering what was going on. Wishbone makes a very... uh, unique Darcy though.

The zombie one was pretty good. Ridiculous and absurd, but therefore entertaining. Elizabeth is a psycho freak in it, and there's even one part where her and lady Catherine have this duel to the death. Hilarious. I wouldn't recommend it as quality literature or anything, but it gave me quite a few giggles.

Um, I think that's all. So scumps to the end of Social experiment number 2!







Social Experiment part 1: Twilight

Curse you, Stephanie Meyer.

That's really all I can say about that. Take all the mixed messages out of it that you want. If you feel the sincere desire to know more detail, fine. I'll tell you. But curse you Stephanie Meyer.

I chose this pic because it's one of the (very) few non-emo ones.

The very, very first thing that I got from having finally read Twilight was an even deeper loathing for the movies. I thought they were bad before. But now I understand the full extent of their awfulness. UGH!
Kristin 'emo face' Stewart = Fail

But the movies weren't Stephanie Meyer's fault. Why do I curse her? Answer: For making me suffer through almost 300 pages of mush before getting to the awesome part.

Allow me to clarify. I like a little bit of cheese, as much as anyone. Don't think I haven't imagined running into some dashing roman god myself. I do realize that, when in the clutches of such an intense crush, you don't always think clearly. And parts like "I think I forgot how to breathe" are funny the first twelve times.

But the pages upon pages of being struck dumb by his perfection got old really, really fast. In fact, if I hadn't chosen to read it for myself (as opposed to someone telling me to read it), I probably would have given up on it halfway through the meadow scene. Last time I tried to read it (because my friend made me) I didn't even get that far. It was just a lot too much for me. In the words of my brother, my gag reflex on such things is a little stronger than most girls.

Plus Stephanie has a fetish for asides in sentences. She uses - and by uses I mean overuses- dashes a lot. Almost as much as I overuse ellipses...

THEN we get to the baseball game, followed by the epic hunt. The movie failed at this part. Well, it failed at all the parts. But it really failed at this one. I mean, they pretty much showed all the important stuff, but without all the inner monologue, it doesn't really mean anything. They just fly to Phoenix and he attacks her. The end.

I honestly didn't expect such a simple bit of plot to be so interesting. When you think about the actual things that happen, there's honestly not a lot to it. But the way it was portrayed forced me to stay up till 3 finishing it when I was planning to be in bed by like 11:30 or so.

I think it was partly like that because of James's voice. When I read his lines, his voice in my head sounded exactly like the creeper voice on scream. You know, at the beginning when he's stalking her house, and he calls her like 10 times. The only part of scream that's actually scary. Having a character sound like that was really, really creeping me out. I just shuddered thinking about it.

I saw the edited version (of scream), but even in the unedited one the beginning is the only terrifying part. As soon as you see that stupid mask, it's over. If you don't know what I'm referring to, here's a clip. There's nothing gross in it. Just the creepy voice. And Drew Barrymore's awful haircut. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFCStOMqpfk

Anyway, that's how James sounded on the phone, to me. And it was giving me the heebie jeebies.

Alright, let's summarize.

Things I hated about the Twilight book:
  • The overabundance of mush. Gag me.
  • Their obsession. I guess I haven't ever been in love myself, so I don't really know what it's like. But it just seemed creepy stalkerish addicted rather than just hopelessly smitten.
  • I still don't understand about the vampire powers. It sounded like everyone has a different kind of power based on their human life, but then only Edward, Jasper, and Alice have any actual powers. Well, and James. I don't get it.
  • Because I know that Bella's mind is weird, I'm gonna HAVE to read the rest now, to figure out how it's gonna translate into vampirity. Drawn in and stuck. Dang it.
  • Needing to know certain things will make me have to suffer through several hundred more pages of mush. Not only that, but mush with Jacob AND Edward. Ugh.
  • Disliking Kristin Stewart even more than before. I didn't really need help with that.
  • The sparkly skin. I honestly, seriously, and with conviction think that the reason she made them sparkly is because she had effectively explained away all the vampire myths but the coming out at night one, and she needed to do something about it. How else could anyone ever even start to come up with the idea of vampires sparkling in the sun? It makes so little sense that that's my only theory.

Things I did like about it:
  • Emmett carrying her like a football was strangely endearing. *shrug*
  • I understand all the characters. Even Rosalie. You really can't blame her for how she is. And Billy, too. You just can't get mad at him.
  • Alice and Jasper. I wish they were my friends. They're so cool. Seriously, they're my favorite part. Not necessarily them together as a couple. Just them as people.
  • The epicness of the second half. Of course, that's the sort of thing I like to read, so it doesn't really surprise me. I'd like it better if it wasn't inseparably coupled with Edward OCD.
  • I can honestly, sincerely, and relievedly say that reading the book did not make me a Twi-tard, addict, junkie, or obsessed fan. I will probably read the rest, just to answer my questions, but I will not be attending the midnight showing of Breaking Dawn, and I will not be purchasing either the books or the movies. I will not be putting twilight pictures as my computer desktop or profile, and I will honestly be able to say that I gave it a fair, unbiased shot.
  • Just about the right balance between description and leaving it to your imagination. Except the hotel room. That was a little much, but I suppose it conveyed her extreme antsy-ness. I never did understand why people narrating a book through a character feel it necessary to pull a Victor Hugo sometimes. The character isn't going to be thinking "The drapes hung like ominous shadows, waiting to ambush me". People just don't. Well, normal people. I admit that I do on occasion, but not that much.

Well, I think that pretty much covers it. Pros, cons, and everything in between. That was my Twilight reading experience.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Social Experiment: Bored or improving myself?

I've been conducting an experiment. A social experiment, that is. As fun as it would be to send vinegar and baking soda exploding all over the kitchen, I have a cleaning check today, so that would be a definite no.

My experiment has been progressing over a few months now, and it started unconsciously I think. I once wrote a post on the stupidity of guys who think that seeing the cover of the 6 hour pride and prejudice decreases their manhood by virtue of mere proximity. I've known too many guys who are practically obsessed with taking away another guy's "man card", and less concerned with being a good boyfriend to a girl. Not a good combo. Really annoying.

And then I realized that I was doing something rather similar. Not to the same extent, of course. I'd actually seen a 4 1/2 second clip of the uber long pride and prejudice, and hadn't gone into girliness overload shock yet.

But I did tend to judge many things without having actually experienced them myself. I did the same with Harry Potter. No one was more vehemently opposed to the series than I was. Not because of thinking that they were teaching witchcraft or whatever. That's absurd, and I knew many, many completely marvelous people who approved of them.

But I was opposed because it really really really annoyed me that some people who never read anything would read HP, like it, and STILL never read anything else ever. They read it because of peer pressure and social norms and I was furious about it. I still kind of am, actually. But I realized that it wasn't J. K. Rowling's fault that she's just that good. It was just a comment on the idiocy of humanity.

Plus my mom was listening to the first book on the way to the airport once, and got me about 5 chapters in before it left me hanging. From that point on, I was doomed. Jim Dale is to thank.

The moral of the story is that finally, in the summer of 2008 (well after all seven were out, and the hype for the books had really died down) I caved. Within a few weeks I was halfway through book seven, at which point I got stuck for a while. I was listening to it, and some professor had discs 4-9 checked out for WEEKS. Professors don't have the same due dates, and this guy was seriously abusing that privilege.

I then realized that yelling at the characters, crying, staring gawk-eyed in disbelief, and dying inside when I couldn't continue with the story was probably a sign that I was hopelessly entangled in the web of literature that is Harry Potter.

I'm actually sort of glad I waited, though, because waiting for book seven to come out would have been utter agony.

I now own several hand-carved harry potter wands, the boxed set of all seven books, and have attended the midnight premiere showing of Half-blood Prince in costume. I'm on the "Inform me the SECOND tickets are available for Deathly Hallows" list at fandango. And I'm in the throws of planning a Harry Potter marathon for november before the movie premiere.

What was the point of telling you all that?

Well, it sort of explains my experiment. I realized that I was wrong about something that I judged based on what I thought I'd like, without actually trying to find out for myself. You really can't judge a book by its movie.

I've resisted everything even resembling a chick flick for years and years. Never read a romance novel. (crude or otherwise) Do NOT participate in widespread bawling during Nicolas Sparks stories. Some of the few I was forced into, I hated. Casablanca? What the crap was that?

Ever After is the exception. I've always liked it.

In short, I have more of a "man card" than some men do. Which is really, really sad. For me, not for the men.

My current experiment is, therefore, girly media.

It partly started with North and South. One of those British mini-series deals that I thought was going to explode my brain. Surprisingly, it didn't. Very surprisingly. The other part of it started when I watched West Side story on my own, and actually got very slightly choked up at the end. I was rather stunned.

I came to the realization that there were many things I had experienced, and hated, when I was younger, than I might actually appreciate now. I also noticed that there were certain things I had avoided on principle, and not out of reason. I started to get very curious, especially in seeing things at the library, and having easy, anonymous access to them.

Thus began the experiment. In the next several posts I shall detail the results. My current plan is as follows. I reserve the right to add or subtract anything from it, as I feel like it.

A * means I read/watched it before and hated it or didn't understand it, but am willing to give it another chance for the sake of the experiment. Everything else is something that I'd never really dealt with, so I was curious.

Pride and Prejudice*
Persuasion
Sense and Sensibility*
Gone with the Wind
Casablanca*
Little Women*
Twilight (book)
Emma (To be fair, I had seen two versions of this. One was awful and one was good. I guess that's like a half star?)
The Notebook (another half star)
Sabrina new* and old
Breakfast at Tiffany's
Sleepless in Seattle*

That's pretty much it, for now. I'll add something if I think of it.

Ps... did anyone ever notice that on top lists of chick flicks, Julia Roberts is in at least half of them?


Thursday, September 23, 2010

G is for Rabbit.

Working at the library is awesome. There are loads of benefits, not the least of which is having no late fees. A very, very definite plus for me. Occasionally the junior section gets a little cheesy, but that's to be expected. Children's libraries are supposed to be that way. And sometimes the displays are actually really cool.

There's one thing I wonder about, though. Literally every time I walk past the AV section. In this order, I see a poster for Singing in the Rain, Gone with the Wind, and then this:

It just doesn't seem to fit in with the classy theme. But more importantly, it makes me wonder about the people who draw these things.

According to the illustrations, here is how I interpret this poster.

Rated G: G is for giraffe. This movie is so tame that even spotless giraffes, rabbits, foreign exchange students, and ten year olds on a date may attend.

I've never seen a spotless giraffe. I've never even heard of one. So I imagine that they must be pretty shy, hence their use in illustrating the true tameness of the G. In fact, it's so tame that they invited a magician to entertain, so people wouldn't walk out.

Rated PG: Prohibit Giraffes. Aunt Velma couldn't stay awake through a G, but she's fine with PG. Rabbits are cool with anything, so they stay, even though the magician's been fired. 15 year old skater boys are so excited, they bring their boom boxes to the movie with them.

Ten year olds on a date are strictly prohibited, as are any sort of giraffe. As far as kids go, little boys are allowed to see anything they want, but little girls must be censored.

Rated PG-13: Prohibit Giraffes to the 13th power. Giraffes are clearly victims of racism. Rabbits can enter, but not Giraffes. Oh no. Not even spotted ones. Aunt Velma's gone too, and skater boy stayed home with his boom box.

The ten year olds are back, but they must be dressed up like stalkers, and will not be admitted if a date is present.

Little girls are still not allowed to actually watch the movie. Their parents buy them a ticket for the sole purpose of reminding them that they aren't old enough to actually watch the movie yet.

Little boys don't have this problem. They're allowed to see the entire movie, as long as it's only through one eye at a time. Must be some kind of vision strengthening exercise.

In short, the only people who can actually watch these movies without stipulation are the parents.

No blondes allowed.

Rated R: Rabbit's gone. The movie got to be too much for him. Kids are gone too. The parents have finally realized that spending the movie with their hands over their kids' eyes is just a waste of money. Instead, they dress up and have a date night.

A double date, in fact, with a pair of 15 year olds who have already lettered in their high school sports. Only the most ambitious and dedicated of high schoolers are allowed into an R. It's an elite community.

NC-17: Rabbit's back. He had to run home and get his sunglasses. That's the only reason he missed the R, apparently. Giraffe is still bitter. He is currently involved in lengthy court proceedings in hopes of repealing the anti-giraffes at movies act. His chances are slim, but he insists that they will only use the back row of seats.

Why is that college student going around watching "patently adult movies" all on his own? Oh yeah. I forgot. NC 17 also stands for "stalker preparation and training school".

NC-17 also makes a great date for you and your spouse. Nothing like extreme violence and ludeness to keep your marriage going.


Seriously, the rabbit? He was censored in PG 13, banned in R, and allowed in NC-17... These are the things I wonder EVERY time I pass this poster at the library.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Things

** Note: This post is unnecessarily long. I was just bored and kept thinking of things. I won’t be offended if you don’t read it all in one shot.

I don’t like choosing favorites. I think this is because I like to have options. To have all my bases covered.

For example, say I was a superhero. I would need to have a superhero power. Now, it would be really, really cool to be able to fly. I would love to fly. But what if your opponent could fly too? Well, you’re both at square one. You would need something else.

Or maybe you could turn invisible. But that doesn’t do a lot of good if your nemesis has sonar.

If you don’t get it, go read something else. I wrote a post about danceable tunes once. Maybe that would be more interesting.

Anyway, there are a few things that I am able to pick favorites from, either out of the lack of option, or because the favorite itself allows variability. Well, also because some of them aren’t a matter of as much importance as saving the world from your arch-nemesis.

Color is a good one. Your favorite color isn’t going to be a matter of life and death. It might be different if you were picking a color that you would have to wear for the rest of your life. But we’re not.

Even so, I do like almost all colors. In fact, the only ones I don’t really like are maroons, and the like. I don’t know why. They’re just ugly. And I’m not a purple person, though I like to say the word. I like the way it is in your mouth. But I don’t hate purple. I just don’t use it as often.

I would have to say that, even though my favorite color depends on the day, most days it’s blue.
Not this blue.
THIS blue. Powder blue just doesn’t cut it. I wonder sometimes what makes a person like a certain color. I think it’s something to do with the way the wavelength hits your eyes.



If I had to choose a super power, I do know what I would pick. I would want something sort of like the animorphs. That way there’s something for every occasion. Charging giant beast, flying away quickly, swimming, jumping, small and hiding, eavesdropping, frolicking, sneaking, copying someone’s thumb-print... everything you ever need to fight the bad guys can be had by changing into different kinds of animals.

Speaking of animorphs, I’m sad the library got rid of them. I wanted to read some again, just for old times sake. But they only had one left, and it wasn’t actually supposed to be there. I think they just missed it when they took them out.

And speaking of favorites, my favorite animorph was always Tobias. I don't really know why. I mean, he's cool, but they all are. I just always liked him most.

=> I remember particularly liking this one. I liked them all (except the ending. Wasn't happy with that.) But I this one was a more intense one, I think.

If I had to choose one sentimental thing to bring with me somewhere, like if we were refugees or something and only had room for one thing that wasn’t survival related, I would definitely take efalump. I don’t like going even normal places without him. A dramatic fleeing for our lives would be much worse without him.

But sometimes that’s not an option either. If I were to bring something sentimental, but it had to be really small, it would be sharky. He’s tiny enough to slip into a pocket, a shoe, or a waistband, but he’s still a little piece of home that would comfort me in a hard time.

Now, what if a robber were sneaking into my house in the night? If I needed to grab something protective that would be useful, but also easy to access, it would be this:

My giant wooden dowel. I have two, actually, but this one’s a little longer and heavier. I had them for a project that didn’t actually work out. So now I just keep them by my bedroom door.

Obviously, if I had a baseball bat that’s what I would use. But I don’t. Not to worry, though. I could crack a skull with that thing if it became necessary.




If I had a little more time, I’d go for this, of course:

The only deal with it is that I’d have to have time to quietly string it, grab an arrow from my shelf, and still have enough distance between me and the robber to use the ranged weapon advantage. Our hallway isn’t very long, and the kitchen doesn’t have much in it that a robber would want. He wouldn’t stay there long. The dowel trades the long range for quickness.

Well, add to that the fact that if I actually had to smash someone, it would be a lot easier to not accidentally do permanent damage. I can aim a batter’s swing a lot better than I can aim an arrow. Safer for both me and the robber.

On the other hand, though, I would very much like to be proficient in archery. While I would make sure to be versed in any weapon well enough to defend myself, I really think that my place on a battlefield would be with the archers. Assuming, of course, that magic is out. I would totally be a wizard in a fantasy battle. I enjoy exploding things WAY too much.

Let’s see... Oh, here’s a good one. PC or Mac? Definitely PC. You may think that a strange choice, since very few people would agree.

Here are my reasons: 1) I know pc’s. I’d have to learn a bunch of new things for mac usage, which I am too lazy to bother with. Not interested. 2) Macs are more expensive. 3)Macs are becoming so much more popular that I really feel like the fewer viruses thing won’t be a long lasting advantage. Sooner or later someone’s gonna tap that resource. 4) My pc has a 15 inch screen. Which I like. For that much screenage on a mac, you’d have to fork over the serious $$. 5) Compatibility. Yeah, yeah, I know people are coming up with more mac programs, like word and powerpoint and stuff. But they’re still not the same thing. They aren’t even compatible with each other. Forget working the same way. And even if they were the same, I don’t care about word. I don’t use it. None of the things I use my computer for would work on a mac except for making slideshows and checking the internet. This includes games.

Well, you get the idea.

Lion or a tiger? Definitely Tiger. Did you know that their skeletons are almost indistinguishable from each other? True. With that much similarity, it can be about what’s on the outside. And the outside of a tiger is a lot cooler than a lion. Lion’s just aren’t even pretty. And the male ones are just lazy. So lazy. Tigers are prettier, bigger, and they live in the jungle, which is really appealing to me. There are snow tigers too. More endangered than lions? Yeah, they are. But it’s because they’re prettier. People like their fur.

Favorite real animal? In case you can’t tell just by being in my room, it’s an Elephant. So many reasons. One, because I relate to them. I really imagine my patronus to be an elephant. Not just because they’re huge and could stampede dementors like they were toothpicks. That’s helpful though. I just wouldn’t feel safe with a kitten patronus, or an otter, or whatever. Lame, and not confidence inspiring.

But elephants are cool. They’re really chill. They play, they take mudbaths, they look at lions like they were scum. They’re the epitome of gentle giant mellow.

UNLESS you mess with their babies. I’m willing to bet that an angry mamma elephant charging at you is on the top ten list of scariest things ever.

I’m kinda like that, I think. Mellow to the max. Things just don’t bother me. I don’t get stressed out about much in life. Especially not about school, which might be a bad thing. But it got me through college a lot more enjoyably than most people can claim. On the other hand, though, you mess with someone like my sister, or my really close friends, you better believe that when I whack you with that dowel, you ain’t getting back up.

Favorite not so real animal? Dragons, no question. Some of them are similar reasons as liking elephants. But mostly I love dragons because they’re just awesome. Most of my favorite animals have huge teeth, horns, scales, claws, or something. Dragons are the epitome of all of that.

Plus I like fire.

Ooh, here’s a good one. Something from the past that’s been romanticized so much that it seems awesome, but wasn’t really? Like what would I love to experience? There’s a lot that would be cool. Jousting, widespread archery and swordfighting, living in a castle, etc. But I really have a thing for sailing ships. They just seem sooooo cool. I know it wouldn’t be exactly nice. But the idea of it is still cool, and ships are just pretty to look at especially. All the masts, and lines, and sails and stuff. They’re way awesome.

Favorite ninja turtle? For completely shallow reasons, it was always Leonardo. I liked the name better, I liked blue better, I liked swords better, and all that combined in Leonardo. Apparently he wasn’t a nice one, but my little kid brain didn’t remember that part. Rafael was probably second, for all the same reasons.

Donatello was the most boring to me because he was purple, his name was the least interesting, and all he had was a quarterstaff. Honestly, if you’ve got to kill bad guys, I just can’t imagine doing it with a thick stick. What do you do, just hit them until they’re a pulp? I understand from friends that he was actually the nicest one, though.

Once upon a time my favorite dinosaur was a Triceratops. I now know way too many to have just one favorite. Trikes are still my favorite Ornithischians though. I think it’s the horns. My favorite saurischians are the raptor family. Not velociraptors, necessarily. Too small. Deinonychus is cool though. And Utahraptor is pretty sweet, despite its unoriginal name. I also like supersaurus, but he’s only in the saurischian running because he’s freaking massive. He could probably knock a t-rex flat without having to even think about it.

<= This is the velociraptor from Jurassic park, and strictly speaking, the scale is all wrong. This fellow is more likely a deinonychus.

In the not strictly dinosaurian extinct stuff, megalodon is so awesome. Basically a great-white-esque shark so big that he could swallow a regular great white whole and not even realize it. Even whale sharks pale in comparison.

=> Artist interpretation, obviously, but the scale is accurate.

Legos, lincoln logs, tinker toys, blocks? Ooh... tough one. Each has their place and their uses. Depends on my mood, I think. But I’ll have to say legos, I think. They have the most versatility. Lincoln logs are good for buildings, and tinker toys are good for bridges and vehicles. I love blocks because the stuff you build with them has to actually be structurally sound to stay up. But You can do all of the above with legos, too.

Lightsaber color? Blue. And not because it’s my favorite color. Obi wan’s was blue, and so was one of luke’s. His other one was green. Qui gon’s was green too, and I really like him a lot. But I think I just have to stay with Obi Wan. I wouldn’t be opposed to a yellow one, though. Not because I like it better than green. I don’t really, as colors go. But because it’s yellow. Who else has a yellow one? The only person I can think of is just this one padawan girl that obi wan knew when he was younger. She died anyway.

If I could pick any instrument to be instantly awesome at? It’s really, really tempting to say guitar, because there’s a lot of call for that. You’re automatically cool if you can jam on the guitar. But I honestly would have to say that the Irish whistle, tin whistle, whatever the heck you want to call it, would be my choice. Multiple reasons. One, where the heck would you get lessons for that anyway? I might as well get guitar lessons, and be auto good at the tin whistle. But most of all, it’s incredible. Nothing in the world makes me feel more nostalgic, calm, at one with nature, and adventurous all at the same time, like a song with tin whistle in it.

This one is good. (I didn't make the video. I just really like the song, and happened to find this link to it.)

There are other ones too, but I don’t feel like making movies out of them to load on here. Sorry.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Do I have horcruxes? Well, about that...

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man in period costume always look better once he sheds the jacket and cravat.

Just saying.

Exhibit A:




























Anyway, what I was really wondering, is what's the deal with Mr. Darcy? I mean, besides the obvious point of his being a main character in a famous romance story. I guess sometimes that's all it takes. They don't have to have any other redeeming qualities.

Mr. Thornton is another example. ^

I only think he's cool because Richard Armitage is cool.

But really, I do often wonder why so many girls are obsessed with him. My idea of the perfect romantic suitor is not Mr. Darcy. Sure, he's supposed to be handsome. That's a plus.

Some random person made this of many of the Darcys.













My favorite Darcy happens to be this one:



I know it's a more modern one, but still...





Anyway, he's not terrible. He does a lot of things for her after he falls in love with her. I guess I just have an absurdly high standard for dashing, romantic leads. But I suppose his many flaws are what make him more real.

Although now that I think about it, it may be a high standard, but it's kind of a strange one. To me, someone like Peeta (from Hunger Games) counts a whole lot more than Darcy does. Which is more than just a little weird.

Um, I don't really know what the point of this was. Except maybe to discuss lovely British men.

*shrug*

I adore Peeta. Just FYI. I'm still wigging out about Mockingjay.

I don't know why I do it. Reading a book series, loving it, emotionally investing myself to the point of insanity, freaking out about it, and then dying inside when it ends. Even when the endings are happy, and exactly how I wanted them to be, I just don't like them to be over. It's like losing a friend. A trusted companion. Part of my soul.

That's exactly it. My soul splits every time a great series finishes. I have horcruxes all over the place. Like I said, I don't know why I keep torturing myself this way. It's just such a great ride. It's like drugs. I can't get away.

Hahahaha. I just remembered one of my most favorite lines from the newest Pride and Prejudice. "It's most inconvenient, since I've sworn to loathe him for all eternity".

K. My movie's done. I should really go to sleep now. Well, I should have about 2 hours ago. But what's done is done, as they say.


Saturday, September 11, 2010

11 hours of my life

Mockingjay. The finale to the Hunger Games. The awesome, agonizing, hilarious, terrifying, horrid, super-cool trip through the dystopian future of North America.



It's hard to explain, and impossible to effectively describe. But I would recommend it to anyone.

Without going into a long explanation of why it's good while not telling anything about it, I proceed on with the photo-essay.


I apologize ahead of time for the, um, heinousness of some of these pictures.
Not all are flattering, but all are accurate. (Unlike that clock in the background).

I can't go on any long rants about crazy-go-nuts stuff that happened in it. I want to. But for the sake of my sister and her roommate (as well as any others so far deprived of the book), I won't.

*heavy sigh*

However, I did document my reading. These pictures were actually taken during the reading adventure. Apparently my face isn't as expressive as what was crazy-spiraling through my head. But you get the idea.


Also, the very most intense parts warranted no pictures. Not because my faces weren't undeniably priceless. But just because there was no way on the planet I was going to bother with the camera at a time like that. Seriously.


So, here we go. The ups, downs, and in betweens of Mockingjay.














In these two, someone just got pwnd.
That is to say, burned. In the non-literal sense. It was GOOD.


I think we can call this the "as close as you can get to the fetal position without actually putting the book down" picture.


The progression from bad to worse during serious parts.




Yes, I really do this while reading certain things.
Laugh if you must.



This one is the most very real pic I have.
Literally, I read the page, slapped the book down onto the bed, and just sat there for like 7 minutes.


There were only 2 pics during the last third.
That's just all I could manage. Nuff said.

This is a combination of the book intensity, and the severe distress I was faced with in having had to go to work today. For four hours. WHILE copies of Mockingjay stood ready on a shelf, on hold for others. Mocking me, as it were. It didn't help that I walked to work with the book, and had it in my locker. For emergencies.