Thursday, October 18, 2012

All men aren't equal. Them's the breaks, kid.

I am so tired of this:

And this:

And this:

And this:

Seriously, for every one Obama smear picture I see somewhere, I see at least 16 Romney/Ryan smears. And I'm not even exaggerating that number. Facebook side ads. Pop ups. Shares on my home page. I'm ready to go burn someone's house down, it annoys me so much.

Is it because I'm a Romney supporter?


It's because I'm a fair-treatment supporter.

We shouldn't be voting for people based on how good they look in swim trunks, or how easy it is to make derp faces in photoshop. That entirely defeats the purpose of these elections. Things like this shouldn't exist at all, on either side. But they definitely shouldn't exist only on one side.

No joke, I have not seen one single photoshopped Obama derp on my facebook wall. Or in a pop up. Or in a random email ad. Not once. I lost count of how many Romney loser pictures I've seen.

So what if I like Romney better than Obama? Does that inherently make me a retard? Am I automatically relegated to a lower IQ level because I make different choices than you do?

Democrats and liberals make a huge stink about being open minded, and "Don't judge me because I sin differently than you do."

It's all a big fat lie. 

Because I don't approve of Obama's policies, I'm automatically a racist.

Because I prefer the ideas of a guy who's easy to photoshop, I'm automatically a retard.

If I started putting doofy pictures of Obama up here, do you know how many people would hunt me down and set fire to my apartment? But it's okay to smear Romney 3 times a day with derp pictures and Pinocchio noses...

Oh wait. I forgot. Romney is a rich white guy. Obama is only a millionaire black guy. Forgive me for laboring under the mistaken impression that all men were created equal.


I googled pictures. Do you know how easy it is to find Romney doofus pics? I tried googling Obama pics, and there are about 3. All the same ones. And this was the best they could do for me.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Politics Schmolitics

Gather round ye children, and listen as I tell the story of why politics are the number one, all-the-way-at-the-top thing on my list of most annoying things ever.

You may recall a post in which I explained why people think I hate sports. (Several posts, in fact.) You may also recall it having a great deal to do with the way that the competition turns people into screaming green rage monsters.

(See here for further details. And here.)

Just in case you were too lazy to click on those links, (Which most people are) I'll give a brief summary. I like to play sports. Occasionally I'll watch a sports game just for entertainment. (Nearly always baseball or soccer.) But I never keep up with when games happen. I never keep track of which teams are doing what. And I certainly never pay attention to which players are doing which things for which teams.


Well, as I said, the thing I despise the most about the sporting world is the way a game (note the terminology) can take a decent, rational human being and turn him into a homicidal maniac. I also despise the politics involved in the thing. They're people getting paid to play their favorite games all the time. Why does it matter to anyone which order they get drafted in, or which owner traded who for who?

But I digress.

The point is that the sporting world is full of arguing, fighting, hate, anger, revenge, pride, and everything else that makes up the worst part of humanity.

<= Seriously? Seriously?

Politics is exactly the same. It takes something that should be good, and endows it with every terrible trait humans have ever come up with.

People don't base their votes on the issues any more. They base it on whether Obama is black, or Romney is mormon, or Obama looks better in swim trunks, or Romney is too rich, or who made the worst mistake while trying to say their lines, (As if no one else in the world has ever gotten tongue twisted before. *rolls eyes*) or a whole buttload of other stuff that is totally, completely, entirely, 100% irrelevant to anything.

Instead of civilly discussing the facts of an issue, people shout over each other, yelling louder and louder until no one can tell what anyone else is even saying.

Instead of telling the truth, people just say whatever they think we want to hear.

Instead of gracefully admitting a defeat, people bluster and taunt and jibe.

Instead of using facts at all, people use smear campaigns.

The main anti-Romney campaign is entirely based on trying to make him look like Doofy McDooferpants.

And it ain't one sided.

Need I say more?

People beating each other to a pulp over insignificant things... sounds a lot like the sporting world, doesn't it?

No, but really. Doesn't it?

It's become about winning, not about running a country.

Just like sports.

I suppose that brings up the question, why would I put politics at number one on my annoyance list, when there are other things that are so similar?

In one sentence: Because it's my civic duty to care.

Let's say they passed a law that forced me into caring about stats and players and seasonal averages in football. I would be so annoyed. I would be required to learn about and participate in things that I just do not want to bother with.

For all you sports fans out there, try this out for size. Let's say there was a law that required everyone to start caring about ballet. And I don't just mean watching the occasional performance. You are now required to keep up with who's doing what in the dance world. You have to know which style each master prefers. You have to compare Sleeping Beauty adaptations. You have to actively participate in the casting of critical performances. And you have to care.

It doesn't matter how much you HATE ballet, you have to care. You have no choice.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Luckily, I can ignore sports if I want to. I don't have to care if the cowboys beat the redskins in a twisted mockery of the old west. I don't even have to care that it is a twisted mockery. It doesn't affect my life at all.

But I'm required to care about the government. I can't be any sort of halfway reasonable citizen if I don't at least try to understand what's going on in these convoluted things they claim are campaigns.

I can't just sit around and let someone take away my rights, or force me to live certain laws, or repeal protective prohibitions. I have to be part of the process. I am obligated to participate, even though I don't want to.

I don't want to care. I don't want to have to care. But I don't have a choice.

Seriously. Worst thing ever.