Thursday, September 2, 2010


Sometimes I read blogs that are witty and funny. Creative. Awesome. My sister's often is. This one is too:

It makes me chuckle inside and outside.

Mine is not like that. I apologize. I wish it was. If there was one thing in the entire would that I could change about my personality, it would be to make myself witty, humorous, and quick thinking.

I'm not quick thinking.

That's me on the left -->

I suppose the adage is kind of right. Slow and steady wins the race. Unless, of course, the fast ones aren't stupid enough to stop off for a long nap.

When it comes to memorizing stuff, I'm the rabbit. When it comes to science facts, or history dates, or movie quotes, I'm the rabbit too. Not in terms of the instant recall sort, but in terms of the 'if you give me a couple of seconds to orient myself, I can recall a lot more facts than you' kind of thing.

Socially, I am not the tortoise. No, I am a three legged tortoise with a crack in my shell, that got put at the starting line facing the wrong way. In terms of wit, cleverness, and social norms everyone else is 200 meters down the track before I've even got myself facing the right direction so I can start.

Sometimes I get a brief spurt of inspiration. Especially after reading someone else's hilarious posts. This inspiration gets me about two paragraphs. On a good day, that is. As you can see, this is the 9th paragraph. Well, if you count those single lines. And as you can also see, my clever inspiration ran out about 12 paragraphs ago.

Some day, though. Some day you will read one of my posts and think to yourself, "Wow. That was awesome. I want to read more!"

I'm sure that hasn't happened yet for most of you. And by most, I mean the five people who actually follow the blog. Six or seven if I have some non-public followers. Which is probably wishful thinking.

If it has happened, you may have been having an awful day. Anything was good.

Or maybe you just finished watching Twilight. If my blog was in the running for a nobel prize against the Twilight movie, I'm pretty sure I'd win. Which would be a sad, sad commentary on the state of the world. (Did you know that they now have the Twilight graphic novel? Yup.)

Or perhaps you don't read other blogs. Lack of competition might be enough to raise the level of my posts from 'hopeless' to 'adequate'.

Coated Chicken.

You have just witnessed the limit of my cleverness.

Perhaps I'll someday understand why I have been deprived of verbal coolness AND other coolness at the same time.

Today is not that day.

If you were reading this post hoping for a point, I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you. There isn't one. Unless it is realizing that a chicken wearing a down coat is sort of morbid. That could count as something. Or maybe that's more wishful thinking.

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