Q: What counts as awesome?
A: I decide. (It's one of the perks of being supreme chancellor of the world, grand consumer of bacon, and royal champion of the internets.)
Q: What is your job?
A: Supreme Chancellor of the World, Grand Consumer of bacon, and Royal Champion of the Internets.
(Or did you mean my day job?)
Q: Yes.
Q: Why does packing suck?
A: Ah, that is one of life's great mysteries. I suspect that the answer is either '42', or 'Because America is a 1st world country where we have too dang much. We complain bitterly when we don't have it, but then we have to pack it all up and move, and we suddenly realize how much crap we own.'
Q: When are you getting out of Provo so you're not around people who are younger than you with small children so you can hang out with single people your age and not feel bored?
A: When there exists a place that I can actually go to that fulfills those requirements without having to make me A) move blindly to a new city that I've never been to, B) move from a place where I have a job, however minimally waged, to a place where I have nothing whatsoever, C) move blindly to a place where I know absolutely no one. (I can stay calm in all sorts of crises, but being socially and financially brave is not one of my virtues.)
So far, that doesn't exist.
Q: How old do you feel after that last question?
A: Positively ancient. I didn't realize that being a few years older than my current single friends was such an insurmountable age gap. Now that I know the truth, I think I'll just go out and buy a cane now. Why wait?
Q: If a Texan and an Italian man duked it out in a fight, who would win?
A: If the Texan is telling it, then the Texan every time. If anyone else tells it, then it all hinges on whether or not the italian is Rocky Balboa.
Q: If we lived in the Captiol, what would be your extreme behavior of choice?
A: As unfortunate as it is, it would probably be the food thing. You know, the puke medicine that lets you go back and keep eating all night long.
Q: What if we didn't have to pee all the time? Approximate how much more time we would have to spend on other activities.
A: The answer is always 42.
Q: If we didn't have to sleep, what would you do with your extra time?
A: We're supposed to sleep?
Q: If you had to be in a movie with Justin Bieber or Justin Timberlake, who would you choose?
A: Timberlake. A) Because he isn't still a minor. B) Because even though he isn't a spectacular actor, he really isn't the worst. I don't feel like the same would hold true for Bieber. C) Because Timberlake is taller. D) Because Bieber named his first album release "my world" and his second one "my world 2.0". (Yeah, I know. They're supposedly just two parts of the same album, released a year apart. But really? How does that count?)
Q: If you had to write a research paper, what would your topic be?
A: Really, Barbara? That's the best you can do?
Ah, well. In the interest of full disclosure... I suppose that would depend on the class. But assuming it was a class wherein I could pick any topic I like, on any subject, I'd probably go with something sciencey, where I could play with fire or solquid or acid/base explosions or shooting things at other things.
Q: If you could have one super power which would it be and why?
A: Yes, we did have this discussion. But I like this question because I actually have a thought out answer to it.
I would have animorph-like powers, because it covers pretty much all eventualities. (And that covers my insecurity about making decisions, and possibly leaving something out that I might need.) If you need to fly, you can be a bird. If you need to swim, fish or dolphin. If you need to hide, bugs. If you need to trample a used car lot, elephants work perfectly. Etc.
Q: A train leaves San Francisco traveling at 60 mph heading east. Another train leaves Chicago traveling west at 70 mph. At what point do you stop thinking about trains and play with a herd of llamas?
A: I assume that I was supposed to finish reading the question. But there was this herd of llamas...
Q: If you were to create a new eBook format (we already have Kindle, epub, and pdf) to drive libraries and consumers crazy, what would you call it and what eBook devices would be compatible with it?
A: Since this answer is purely theoretical, we're going to assume that I'm as smart as Steve Jobs. That being the case, I'd do all sorts of market research and invent a kind of file that worked on all sorts of devices without too many complicated patches. Its device would also allow many other file types to play. (Again, without too much complicated patchiness.)
AND because I'd invented this way to play lots of files together without all that confusing file type incompatibility, everyone would use my files, because they'd be safe to use, no matter what device they had. And everyone would use my devices too, because they played everything without a big digital mess. Then I really would be like Steve Jobs, and rule the world. And librarians everywhere would hail me as the savior of their sanity.
On a side note, this is also how I would stabilize my position as Supreme Chancellor.
1 comment:
It was not supposed to make you feel old. It was supposed to help you realize that if you lived elsewhere you would not feel old. Take a chance! You can always move to MA and live with my parents in their basement. That takes care of not knowing anybody and a place to live. Do it!
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