Monday, June 14, 2010

Blackmail anyone?

According to my friend, the main reason people check blogs is to look at pretty pictures. That's probably true. However, I have no pretty pictures of me. All that I do have are either weird, heinous, or badly taken. Or some combination thereof.

Not that I have a real problem with weird pictures. Other people might find the random things I do to be quite embarrassing. In fact, some people I know consider it to be rather embarrassing to be labeled as nerdy or dorky.

I, on the other hand, have no sense of self-respect in that regard. Not to say that I have no self respect at all. I am just the type that it would be VERY difficult to blackmail.

Remember that time I used to wear Dr. Seuss hats to every girl's camp? (Obviously this isn't a camp pic, but it's one of the only seuss hat ones I currently have access to.)

Remember that time I own a long bow, a plastic long sword, a dollar store version of Sting, six lightsabers, and four and a half homemade, yet awesome, Harry Potter wands?

Remember that time that one of the ways I entertained myself as a young child was to take my box of igneous rocks, curl up inside my blanket in the living room, and play volcano? And each kind of rock came out of the volcano just like it would in real life?

Remember that time I sometimes cooked dinner food for breakfast? Pizza (and not leftovers, but fresh cooked), Pork chops, beef stew, chicken soup, you name it, I've had it for breakfast, on purpose.

Remember that time that I read more fantasy books in a week that some people have in a whole lifetime? Recent addictions: Fablehaven, Ranger's Apprentice, Percy Jackson, and thus far everything I've read by Gail Carson Levine (especially Ella Enchanted).

Remember that time I listen, and dance to, random Celtic music just for kicks and giggles? Like right now. The one that's playing at the moment is called "Jig Medley". Clearly, it's a medley of different Irish Jigs.

Remember that time I would have random dance parties in my room? Sometimes to 80's music.

I think I've established my point. I am completely unabashed by the random, somewhat unconventional, things that I do.

Although I do find an interesting dichotomy here: I have no shame in taking pictures of dancing on my bed to 80's, or singing all of my guts out to Glee. At the same time, ask me to do it in front of someone, and something in my body shuts down. I can't make my muscles do it, and believe me, I've definitely tried. Many, many times.

One problem I have is that dances and stuff always play stupid music that I couldn't dance to even if I was all by myself. I would give an example, except I don't know what any of it is, or who it's by, because it's lame.

I would find it significantly easier to dance at a dance party if they played something (as lame as it sounds) like Journey, or Michael Jackson, or ABBA, or (yes, you may now laugh) Backstreet Boys. Cheesy as they are, they have lots of good jamming your guts out in the car type songs. In fact, I'm realizing as I write this that almost all of the kinds of songs I dance best to were written before I even entered kindergarten.

Sure there's good music now. I like Daughtry, or the occasional Mae song (though not all of them). I like country, and pop, and rock. My tastes are very versatile. But when it comes to serious dancing, nothing will ever be better than the old stuff.

I suppose that will be something I'll have to keep working on. There may yet be hope, though. There are things I can do now that I couldn't do without going into a coma before.

Such as singing in church. Not solos. Definitely don't do those, and I probably never will. (I have a filler voice. That alto that caulks the gaps in the song.) But I've done quartets and quintets many times now, and occasionally even a capella. Scary, but doable now.

Or perhaps giving talks/speeches. I still get nervous about them, and often still get the shaky knees and burning face. But I can do them, and not half bad.

I can teach a hundred people in a sunday school lesson at one time, and it doesn't phase me. I love teaching that kind of lessons (as opposed to giving talks). I could do it every week and be fine with it. Now that is definitely something I couldn't do before.

I can somewhat socialize at activities and after meetings and stuff. I'm still terrible at it, and it's still hard to do, but at least I sorta kinda can a little bit now.

Perhaps someday I'll be able to dance in front of people, and not think twice about it. Today is not that day. But it remains my goal. Now, as I finish this blog with a few more pics of me being crazy, I shall also provide a list of some of the songs that I find it the most fun to dance to.

Blue Suede Shoes - Elvis (laugh if you like, it's a FUN song)
Dancing in the Street - my version is David Bowie & Mick Jagger
Johnny B. Goode - my version's from Back to the Future
Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd (sp?)
Jailhouse rock - Elvis (see above)
Twist and Shout - Beatles
Ain't No Mountain High Enough - Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell
Take a Chance on Me - ABBA and also Mamma Mia. Both versions are good.

Crocodile Rock - Elton John
Thriller - Michael Jackson
Shout - I'm not actually sure
Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar
Love is a Battlefield - Pat Benatar
Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper
Walkin' On Sunshine - Katrina and the Waves
Livin' On a Prayer - Bon Jovi

Allstar - Smash Mouth
Bye Bye Bye - Nsync
Larger than Life - Backstreet Boys

Ok, I know what you're thinking. I'm stuck in some kind of time warp or something. But I dare you to make that into a playlist and NOT want to dance when you listen to it. I double dare you. Won't happen. The dance will be inevitable.

In fact, I might have to make just such a playlist.

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