Thursday, October 27, 2011

Medieval Personality Test

"So tell me, who are you?"

"Uh, Mike. We met like four seconds ago."

"No, no. I mean your personality. Likes, dislikes... Do you have a girlfriend?"

"I really don't see why that's relevant, sir. I'm just here to choose a weapon before I enter the academy."

Master Jarek shook his head. "Oh, dear. Another one. Come with me, boy."

Mike glanced around skeptically, and then followed him through a narrow hallway. Master Jarek opened the door at the end and shuffled through. Mike could still see traces of the grace and strength that had once belonged to the city's greatest weapons master. Despite that, he didn't entirely trust that the old man was 100% "together".

Once through the door, Mike forgot his concerns. They had entered a round room that housed a magnificent museum. Weapons from every age of history were there. All sizes, types, qualities... it made the armory at the academy look like an old tool shed.

"Sir..." He whispered.
"Just call me Jarek, lad. Now, what you see here is the finest collection of history in the world."

"I can see that, sir... Jarek."

"No, you can't. Not yet. What do you see in these weapons? A bit of metal that you use on your enemies? Feats of smithery that chronicle our technological advances? As long as that is all you think of, you will never understand.

"Weapons are war tools, it is true. These displays show the steady march of time, and remind us of the battles that shaped today's world. But there is so much more.

"Every warrior has a favorite. Even those who are accomplished masters have one weapon that suits them the most. The one they use more than any other. Why do you suppose this is?"

"Uh... because all people are different?" Mike replied, unsure of the direction that the questions would take.

"Precisely. All people are different. Every person is completely unique, and not just physically. The tool that you prefer, the one that chooses you if you will, tells a great deal about you - the inner you - even if you don't know these things yourself."

"How do you mean, Master Jarek?"

"Just Jarek, thank you. What I mean is that each type of weapon lends itself to a different style. In other words, a different type of person.

"Axes:"

Jarek grabbed an ax from a display and started swinging it, coming straight for Mike. The boy looked around for some sort of protection, but there was nothing within his reach that could have halted Jarek's momentum.

"This type of blade offers very little in the way of defense. Parries and such are simply not what an ax is built for. The only way to be truly effective, therefore, is to keep the ax in motion. Swinging, slashing, beating back the defender by sheer aggression. Even if you had a sword in your hand, what could you do against me?"

Mike didn't answer, but his frantic backpedalling said enough. Jarek smiled and replaced the ax on the rack.

"The man who suits an ax-like weapon will have many of the same qualities. Aggressive, pro-active, impatient.

"Bow and Arrow:"

He pulled a long wooden staff from a display and strung it in two seconds.

"A bow, on the other hand, is quite different. You could almost call it an intellectual weapon. Long range. Practically useless in close quarters, so you have to be smart about it. You have to see the enemy before they see you. You have to plan and think ahead. Use strategy and stealth. And not just mentally. Your movements have to be quick and strong, but extremely precise."

Jarek fired three arrows at an old target on the other side of the room. They hit within millimeters of each other.

"With a bow, moving your hand a mere inch can mean a miss of dozens to hundreds of yards. And the warrior who wields the bow has to appreciate this exactness and embody all of these traits, or he will never be a true master."

"War Hammer:"

Jarek picked up a beautifully crafted hammer that Mike was sure should have been far too heavy for him.

"Similar to the axe in most respects, but for one major qualification. The wielder must possess great strength, more than even an axe-man. The entire effectiveness of this weapon depends on the power behind each hit.

"By extension, the warrior who prefers the hammer must have a certain coldness. There are no blades to pierce or slash with. There will be no swift and merciful deaths. The hammer-man must be okay with bludgeoning his enemies to death. With beating them until they can no longer fight back, after which they are left to slowly die in a broken heap."

Mike shuddered and looked away from the hammer. He sincerely hoped that he would not become that sort of warrior. Jarek noted the expression and smiled.

The next weapon he picked up was long and thin, but somehow looked even more deadly than the hammer. Mike had never seen one before, and he was immediately intrigued.

"Katana:"

Jarek said the name with reverence, and Mike had the distinct impression that this was the master's true weapon.

"Once again, a near opposite of what we have just discussed. The katana is all about grace, poise, confidence, humility... Like the bow, it requires precision and a great deal of dedication to master. But unlike it, the katana is a close quarters weapon."

As he spoke, Jarek began taking the katana through a beginner's routine. Though the moves were simple, each sweeping stroke was perfect and deadly.

"Master Jarek, how can a warrior be confident and humble at the same time?"

"Excellent question," he replied, while still working through the sword form. "This is something that all warriors must know, but while an axe or a hammer will rarely use it, it is absolutely crucial to the more graceful battle styles. With a katana, one must be completely and impartially aware of his exact limitations. He must never underestimate himself. (Confidence.) But neither must he over-estimate. (Humility.)

"Thus, the man who prefers a katana must be balanced. Graceful, calm, collected, unafraid, yes. But balanced above all. At peace with himself. The katana is a weapon of harmony and peace, not of brutal war."

"Sir?" Mike asked, wondering how 'weapon' and 'peace' could go together.

"You will understand in time, my boy. But let us move on." He placed the katana back on the display stand, and took up another sword, this one much more familiar to Mike.

"The long sword (or broadsword):

"A highly sensible weapon. Well rounded. Easier to master than the Katana or other similar weapons. But more difficult than the axe or the hammer. The long sword is good for both offense and defense. It allows for a great deal of variety in style and form. One can slash, hack, stab, and bludgeon.

"It is easy to see why this weapon has become so widely used, and such a common favorite. Downsides: It really is very commonplace. As such, it is hard to judge the quality of your education, and thus, difficult to truly know your own abilities until it is far too late."

"Too late?" Mike asked.

"Your deathbed is a rather inconvenient place to learn that your swordmaster was a ninny." Jerek answered dryly. "I've seen it happen far too often. But that is not the fault of the weapon.

"A long sword is a responsible and flexible weapon. If you choose a long sword, my only caution is to keep your mind open to learning."

"Now the Dagger:"

He picked up an ornate, silver blade and spun it in his hands.

"There are two qualities to daggers and knives that make them especially preferable for some. The first is stealth. A dagger is easy to hide, easy to retrieve, and easy to maneuver in small spaces.

"A king may occasionally prefer a dagger to a sword because of the protection it gives him in unexpected situations. An assassin or kidnapper may be thwarted by the sudden appearance of a blade in his ribs.

"Or thieves. Most men who prefer daggers are not entirely honest. Not all, mind you, but stereotypes do exist for a reason, sometimes. The stealth, the quickness, the easy concealment, all marks of the thieve's trade.

"But more than anything else, the thing about daggers that appeals to some types of warriors is the risk. A dagger is very "devil-may-care". You must be fast, quick thinking, and agile. But even if you have learned all there is to know about dagger or knife fighting, there is still the element of chance. Fighting with a dagger is always to gamble with your life, even when the odds are in your favor.

"Some enjoy the everyday thrill. For others it is a momentary mood - a time when he has nothing left to lose, or feels the need to do something incredibly stupid. Desperation can make a man do many a strange thing. Either way, the man who chooses the dagger will tend to be impulsive, cocky, and headstrong."

As he spoke, Jarek had been wandering a bit aimlessly. Mike paid it no attention. He thought about the master's words, and understood them completely. There had been times in his life where he craved danger. A gamble. "Something incredibly stupid." He was about to say so when he realized exactly why Jarek had been wandering.

"What the...?"

He tried to duck away from the dagger that Jarek had been casually holding at his throat only to find that another was pressed to his back.

"I could kill you in at least 12 different ways from this position, and you didn't even see it coming."

Mike tried to stay relaxed. He knew the old master wouldn't really kill him. Or at least he was almost sure he wouldn't.

"I think I understand now, sir. Er... Jarek. I mean about the personalities thing."

"Indeed?"

"Yes. You're trying to say that we don't just learn about the technology or the wars from all this. We learn about the people. Who they were, how they lived and fought, stuff like that."

"Success!. Yes, my boy. That is exactly what I am saying. Take these axes, for example. They are all from the same ancient northern tribe. From the shape of the blade and the wear on the shaft, we can tell what sort of men belonged to this tribe."

"Right." Mike said. "So it really is the best history collection. Not just history of war."

"Indeed."

"And the best way to see what I'd be suited for is to see what my personality will lend itself to."

"You'll make a fine addition to the academy, Mike. Now, tell me a bit about yourself."

"I do have a girlfriend, actually." Mike grinned.

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