Tom Cruise Proves My Point

Let's go over a couple of facts.

1) Okay, first of all, his real full name is Thomas Cruise Mapother IV. 

Irrelevant, but still. 

2) Tom Cruise is was hot.

Back in the day, he was pretty much the paragon of attractive celebrity. Now... not so much. I mean, not bad for age 50. His hairline hasn't even receded. But it just ain't what it used to be. 

Before:                      After:
  

3) Tom Cruise is really good at some things. Acting may not be one of them, but there are things.

We won't even talk about this. =>

4) Tom Cruise is moody and controlling. Immature. Spectacularly odd.

Or should we just ask Katie Holmes?

Therefore:

Despite being physically attractive, aging fairly well, and being good at many things, Tom Cruise is widely considered to be a Creepy McCreeperton. Weird. Strange. Odd. Take your pic. And the truth is that being hot does not count for very much when weighed against creepiness.

Now,  

1) Edward is supposed to be Mr. Hot Stuff incarnate. Bella is incessantly talking about how good he smells, how nice his chest muscles are, how startling his eyes are, and his overall general appeal. All of which could qualify him for the Chippendales, but what else? 

This time it's the girl saying "What else? What else is there?"

2) Edward is good at stuff, like baseball and the piano.

3) He, too, is moody and controlling. He, too, does not act his age. He, too, does some weird, very NOT socially acceptable things.

Over 100 years old, still has the emotional maturity of a 17 year old. Also watching a girl sleep is the most fascinating thing he can do with his time. Obviously 100 years isn't enough time to have seen anyone sleeping before. And he definitely didn't sleep when he was alive. Ever.

Conclusion:

Tom Cruise = Creepy despite good looks.
Creepy despite good looks = Not okay for healthy relationships
Edward = Tom Cruise
Therefore:
Edward = Not okay for healthy relationships

And this. We... we won't even talk about this.