Innumerable people have gotten frustrated with me over the years, because I am an aggressively argumentative soul. But allow me to explain something that may aid in building the patience I so effectively try.
Arguing is how I explore and understand things.
I am an aggressive conversationalist. I argue. But it is not a negative thing. It’s not me trying to prove you wrong. It’s not me being a whiny baby about someone not liking my work. It's not me being unwilling to admit that I'm wrong. (Mostly. I do fight, just like anyone. But honestly, most of the time that's not what I'm trying to do.)
It’s just me exploring the issue. Think of it like this: you can’t have a perfect plan or strategy until you’ve addressed every single weakness and compensated for it.
When you suggest something as a solution, I must test for weaknesses. This is when you come in and respond with possible answers to these weaknesses. We go back and forth until we’ve either exhausted the issue or our time.
Next time I start arguing one of your suggestions, I'm not unwilling to take your suggestions, or upset that you're giving them. I'm not fighting against them. Do not take offense. I'm just trying to explore the issue.
In return, I'll try really hard to stop being so acerbic and gruff about it, so you don't think I'm angry.
** I do not say that in a "This is just how I am, so get over it" way. Because that's stupid.
One of the catch-phrases that our modern society has propagated is "That's just who I am". Oh, yeah, it sounds really good. It sounds like a slogan of love, tolerance, and self-acceptance.
IT IS NOT.
Let me clarify. When taken in a certain context, then yes, it is a great motto. We should show love to those around us. We should appreciate people even though they have different hobbies or interests than we do. Don't be all judging me because I geek out about Doctor Who.
But even though that's what it should mean, it doesn't so much.
In reality, the phrase embodies one of the biggest lies this side of the millennium. It secretly tells us that we can't change. That our flaws and imperfections are permanent. That we can not grow, improve, or transcend that which we were given at birth.
It tells us that we're not good enough, and never will be, so get over it and move on with your worthless and sub-standard lives.
And the sad part is that we believe it. We use it as an excuse to take the lazy road. It's always harder to grow and change. But if you don't, it's not because you can't. It's because you won't. It's because you believed the lie.
The truth is that human beings are enormously powerful.
Human beings, by nature of their being human, have the ability to change and grow. Unique to all life on this planet, humans do not have to be stuck with what they were given at birth.
Take a look at history. Read the stories of those epic leaders who literally changed the entire world. George Washington. Joan of Arc. Winston Churchill. Napoleon. Genghis Khan. Gandhi. Mother Teresa. Martin Luther. Do you think those people are unique? That they were born in a different class than you or I? That they were somehow beyond our reach?
You would be wrong. They were human, just like we are. The only difference is that those people recognized their power and acted on it. They knew their potential, and turned it into kinetic energy.
Every single human being can change the world.
Weakness is not a disease to be caught. It is not a gene one is born with. Weakness is a choice.
Do not ever fall into the trap. Do not believe the lie. Do not use the excuse. Everyone ever born upon the earth has power and strength that we most of the time don't realize we have.
You're braver than you believe. You're stronger than you seem. You're smarter than you think.