1) Yes, we do put the books in order. (I know this may be shocking to some of you.)
2) The order we use is the alphabet.
3) Spanish books are not exempt.
3 1/2) The Spanish fiction is not exempt.
3 3/4) The Spanish non-fiction is not exempt.
4) Elevator buttons that say "staff" on them are for the staff.
5) Non-fiction items will have a Dewey Decimal number before the author label.
6) The order we use for Dewey Decimals is the number system.
7) 1 comes before 2, 2 comes before 3, 3 comes before 4....
8) The point of Dewey Decimals is to put all the books about the same thing into the same place.
9) The shelves that are labelled "Return shelf" are for returning books.
10) The floor is not a return shelf.
11) An arbitrary spot next to a random book is not a return shelf.
12) The toddler book bins are not return shelves.
13) A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z
14) The spine of a book faces out.
15) The point of a library card is to bring it with you when you check books out.
16) If you really insist on searching every shelf in the building until you find the book you want, that's your prerogative. But you can just look up the author. They are in order, after all.
17) Adult Romance and Junior Comics will not be in the same place.
18) A book by Mercer Mayer will be in the M's.
19) A book by Brandon Sanderson will be in the S's.
20) A book by Jane Austen will be... in the A's.
21) If you damage a book, you have to pay for it.
22) If you drop your book in the tub while you read, that counts as damage.
23) If you run over it with the car on a rainy day, that counts as damage.
24) If your child draws pictures, tears out pages, or pees on it, that counts as damage.
28) When a book says "checked out" it means that it is not inside the library building. Even if you ask 42 times.
25) Trading a new dvd for the one you lost doesn't trick anyone.
26) DVD trays are not return shelves.