Zombies are Real

Some people wonder how I, a 26 year old, bachelor degree holding, independent adult, can still be afraid of goblins under the bed.

Well, part of it is because weird things keep happening to me that drive my imagination into a hyperactive frenzy. For example, the Dracula incident (see the second half of THIS post).

(I chose this picture from a book I read recently, because there are a lot of monster-under-the-bed pics I found that are really scary, and were starting to freak me out.)

It makes me glad to have a very large, (And therefore easy to sleep away from the edges of) bed.

Latest episode:

Some of the buildings in our ward are curiously far away (for a Provo Ward). You have to walk almost a half mile to get to Heather Cove from my apartment.

I was walking over there to do some stuff. The sidewalks were dimly lit. I was the only one out. And inevitably I started thinking about zombies. And what I would do if a zombie attacked me. And how I really, really wished that my machete was within easy reach.

I have a machete. And a Louisville Slugger. But I get the impression that people might be freaked out by me if I started carrying them around in a sheath on my back.

I made it safely, though. Zombie free, and all in one piece.

Just before I left, I joked about how I'd been a little freaked out, and wanted my machete. Then I walked outside and into the creepy darkness.

There is a construction site on the other side of the road. Not too creepy a place, but a sidewalk-less, fenced in place, nonetheless. And very, very dark.

As I walked down the sidewalk, I heard a shuffling sound behind me.

Then I heard somewhat labored breathing.

And it was coming from the construction site.

I glanced behind me, and there was a shape. It was the size and form of a human, but it was shuffling along kind of weird.

And what the heck was it doing coming from the construction site?

It turned out to just be a girl who was out jogging. At 11 pm. In the dark. Alone. On the side of the road with no sidewalk. Right past construction.

Totally normal, right?

Once I had established that it was not, in fact, a zombie, I quickened my pace, and pulled out my phone. I texted the friend I had just left, and told her about the fake zombie scare.

I kept walking home. In the dark. On nearly deserted streets. Up ahead of me there were two slow-moving figures who really were shuffling weirdly, and not moving very fluidly down the street. As I catch a glimpse of them, I hear:

And I had just looked away from the creepy figures in front of me....

Once again, false alarm. The couple was shuffling weirdly because they were old, and walking two crazy but tiny dogs. The sound was my ringtone. My friend had answered me. There were no weeping angels.

Still....

It also didn't help that my front door has a squeak that could put a haunted house to shame. And it was pitch black inside. All together, I'd say it was about as much as my imagination could take without going into a bordering-on-crazy hyperactive anti-coma.


In case anyone wonders, yes I do exaggerate a lot in my life. But no, I am not making these things up just for dramatic effect. They actually happened.

The dracula one really had me panicked for a minute.