Monday, April 19, 2010

One of those ones where I talk about random things

I realized one reason why dating sucks. It's always this complicated thing with stupid games, and rules that aren't uniform, and being scared, and all sorts of stuff. But those are just part of a much bigger problem.

Which is this: Girls know what shallow, hollywood, popular type guys like and want in a girl. And guys know what shallow, hollywood, popular type girls like in a guy. But no one wants those people. They may look nice, but that's the only thing a pretty face is good for. Looking. *shrug* Whatever. BUT girls don't know what normal, regular, non-idiot guys look for in girls, and vice versa. No one ever talks about it. Like ever. In every conversation I've had between guys and girls where the topic comes up, it invariable strays into joking around about hot muscles, or curves, or whatever.

I today had a conversation with 4 girls and a guy, and we discussed this very thing... how what the "world" supposedly likes in typical guys and girls. And how, since that's not what most people want, we still have no idea what to look for. Like at all. This was the first time I've ever talked to a guy and had him honestly, straight up, without shame say that he hates how typical guys just talk about hot girls and if they're pretty. And how there are so many things that are important more than that. And how he really doesn't want to be like the typical guy.

This was a most enlightening conversation, and I can only come out of it saying one thing. It's really too bad there's only one of him.

One thing he said that was extremely wise of him, and I had never thought of it this way, is this: He said that there is a big difference between "Hot" and "Beautiful". And that difference is that hot is a physical, and often temporary feature. Beautiful is entirely behavioral. And that doesn't go away. He wants Beautiful, not hot.

We also discussed how different characteristics in a person very literally changes their physical appeal. Guys who are totally jerks just don't even look handsome anymore (to girls with 1+ brain cell), even if they have normally attractive features. The same is true with guys about girls.

We talked about chivalry, and how it has nothing to do with undermining a girl's independence, but how it's just being nice. Polite. And when girls get all offended at him for opening a door, he actually feels offended and slighted back, because he was just trying to be a decent guy, and he's getting chewed out for it.

We talked about how there are some guys who spend every waking hour on their video games and then wonder why they're not married. He thinks they're retarded. Admittedly, not all girls despise video games, but most do. And the ones that don't still are only ok with it on occasion. When you play so much that gaming terms are your normal vocab, and you post screenshots of your games on facebook, and you spend more time staring at a screen than sleeping, eating, socializing, and working all rolled into one, then there is a major problem.

We talked about a lot of other things that I am quickly forgetting, because it's in the wee hours of the morning now, and I've been awake for 17 1/2 hours after not sleeping much last night. Basically the point is that the real guys, who are mature, fun, nice, and good for you, and are worth getting, actually look for very reasonable things in girls. And it's not a hot body.

Like I said, it's too bad there aren't more guys like him around.

This is a very disjointed post. I apologize profusely. But like I said, I've been awake for a while after spending a long day actually doing stuff. And I just felt like blogging. This was the first thing that came to my head. I go now to the peaceful land of dreams.
HA. My dreams... peaceful... That's a funny joke. :P But they're fun, so it's ok.

1 comment:

The Citizen said...

I like this. Agreed...