Tuesday, March 1, 2011

What you never thought was possible


Robin Hood. Three seasons of BBC goodness that have not left me unscathed. If you haven't watched them, I'm sorry. I can't really explain to you why I am dying inside without giving away extremely crucial things. Suffice it to say that I am.

Perhaps this will help explain, though. The last time I cried this much over a character/story was when I read Where the Red Fern Grows for the first time. In 3rd grade. The part where the dogs died at the end. Seriously, I had to read that book like 5 times before I could make it without completely breaking down at the end.

I'm not really a crier. Only the most poignant of things make me shed real tears when it comes to books or movies.

I get over the top excited, anxious, or 'shocked stupor' really easily. I overdo it to the point of throwing things, slamming books, pounding pillows, and hiding my face. But with emotional stuff, I don't have the same reaction. I can get super sad. Watery eyed. Almost crying. But I very rarely make it to the actual tears. Not in books or movies. And even more rarely do I have them streaming down my face. And by that I mean it's probably been twice in my life.

Things that have made me shed actual tears:
-Where the Red Fern Grows
-Moulin Rouge
-P.S. I Love You
-Toy Story 3
-Bridge to Terabithia
-The end of LOTR
-Dobby's death
-Snape crying over Lily's picture
-I think one point in Percy Jackson 5 but I'm not sure
-The wedding episode in Glee (Go ahead. Judge me. Note that this is the only happy romantic tear session.)
-Also, the Glee one where Kurt sang I want to hold your hand. Wow.

Yeah, those are all I can think of. For a life of nearly 26 years, during which I have read a LOT of books and watched a LOT of movies, this is a little pitiful. Like I said, I really don't cry much.

The series finale of Robin Hood, though, added all of those together in one 10 minute ending. Gushing. Tears. Streaming down my face. Almost got to the hiccup-y crying, but fortunately avoided it. I will literally be dead inside for an unspecified amount of time.

Why am I telling you this? Well, probably because it's 3:30 am and I'm just sitting here dying. No one else to tell. And I only know one person who's even seen the episode I'm talking about. If I kept it all inside, I would probably just be laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, and crying some more. And I don't want that. Though it may happen anyway.

So yeah. Take this as you want. An admission that it is possible to make me break down into sobs. An in depth exploration of feelings, since I never really do that either. A look at the sorts of things that get to me. (Robin Hood but not romantic chick flicks. Go figure.) Take whatever you want. I just needed to type it out.

The killing of my soul will re-commence in five seconds.

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